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Celebrity/Political Personal Ads: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on June 29, 2011

Name: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Age: 54 (Birthdate: 28/10/1956)

Sex: Male

Hobbies: Running the country, oppressing people in the name of Allah, funding Hamas, Nuclear Ambitions and spending time with mah niggas and shit.

Job: President Of Iran (I rigged the election LOL)

Income: N/A

What Are You Looking For: I’m looking for a women who is a devout Conservative Muslim. A women who will make my meals for me in a loving way, look after our children like a woman should, a woman who can get along with other women as I already have one wife. A woman who can keep up with me but knows to stay five feet behind me at all times, also a woman who will know her place and take my beatings like a good Islamic wife should. It’s also cool if she was to like, um, Alcohol and stuff, just saying.

Tell Us A Bit About Yourself: I’m the President of Iran. I like killing people for the Lulz it gives me and my crew, there’s also a serious side to it! I have to keep control of the country or the Jewz will take control and make all mah peoples slaves, and me and mah niggas don’t want that, cos they’re our slaves (Lulz). Those people who I kill are usually Jewz or people in collaboration with them and the great Satan, the United States. Anyone who rejects Islam is also an enemy, jew and must be killed. It’s a lot of fun really, nowhere near as bad as it sounds. And every year we go on a Ramadan after party to Ibiza, it’s a piss up that is not to be missed!

Pictures of Mahmoud:

Awwwwwwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaaah! That was a wicked weekend in Ibiza with mah man Gaddafi!

  Ah Dude! I was so high that day I don’t even remember coming up Ulrika Jonsson’s toilet!

Nigeeeeee! This is my friend Nigel. He hates it when I fart in his place after a Vindaloo!

I have no idea what I am doing here or why my hair and suit is pink! Don’t do Pot, Acid and E at the same time! Bad Idea!

Shit, man! This was when I was on the Atkins’ diet and had the ole Mullah beard. Oh, and those tats are legit

Splodge! This is my old cat ‘Splodge’, she fed our two children after my wife’s milk ran dry. It doesn’t do them any harm, I was breast-fed by a Chimp and I am perfectly fine!

19 Responses to “Celebrity/Political Personal Ads: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad”

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes said

    Hey Phil :)
    You’re so funny!! A women who can get on with other women because I already have one wife etc etc etc. You’re just so funny!!

    I came by to see how you are but you haven’t posted since September. Wow. I think you’re amazing losing all that weight (per your Sept post), & I hope your problems have seriously died down & you are well these days, or at least doing okay.

    Thanks for the laughs.

    • Hiya Noaleen! :O)

      Cheers, man! I need to do more of these, it’s just I don’t have much time anymore to make the photoshopped pictures anymore.

      Yeh, I haven’t posted but thats not because I haven’t had anything to say, I just have other stuff to do and doing long blogs again takes a while. Besides, I blogged just before! :D

      My probs are more or less the same, but that’s for your thoughts and wishes on the subject! :) I’ll be OK eventually I hope! Espcially when I go swimming! :D

  2. jennygoth said

    have you gone on holiday phil ha daft question because if you have your not going to answer lol anyway have a good weekend xxjen

  3. jennygoth said

    just cme to let you know im still around phil xxjen

  4. jennygoth said

    you are the perfect person for summing up a charactor im sure ive seen his head on a coconut shy last week great blog phil xxjen

    • LOL! That was a good one! I thought I saw him in the toilet this morning and on Discovery Animal Planet! He seems to get everywhere doesn’t he? lol

      Thanks for your post and thoughts, Jen! :O) x

  5. Androgoth said

    You have certainly added some wicked postings Phil and this one has
    all the blends to really show off your talents, I think you need to be adding
    at a higher rate, you know sort of kicking the ass and smacking the pony,
    but not necessarily in that order… In other words… More Input okay? lol

    Keep posting your wickedness Phil…

    Androgoth

    • Hey andro! :O) I’d love to add more on a regular basis, but the problem is time these days and also the more I’d post the less people would be interested. A blog a day would bore people, so I keep it to two or three a week if I can.

      I shall keep posting tha wickness! :D

      Have a good one, Andro!

  6. I just been through the feed for the last blog……why can’t I just read them as comments like I always have!?!
    Thanks for the picture – it’s really fun. Maysie is actually a grey puss with tiger stripes but just as fat as that one but hilarious none the less. Your gifts with photoshop are truly wasted on a mere blog!!

    Take care

    • No idea why they’re doing that! I’ve taken to reading and commenting comments in edit mode.

      Thanks for the compliment, my manips are not as good as a lot of stuff out there, I need to get better at it. Your cat sounds like my cat ‘Tom’, he’s similar to the one I posted a few months back who died, she was his Mam!

  7. Morning,

    He sounds such a catch doesn’t he? No wonder the girls just fawn over him…………the poster boy the simple message – Power corrupts

    Hope all is well and peaceful in your part of the world – sorry i aint been around so much but have been real busy at work and the rest of the time – I am busy too…..I need a break really and i was off work last week too!!!

    have agood weekend
    Pete

    • Yeh, all those birds up in Chester zoo and monkey world in Doest love him! He gets bags and bags of mail from them gals!

      You know what though? He isn’t fully in charge, the power lies with the religious leaders, who are above him! That’s what you get in a theocracy!

      Don’t worry about not being around, I know you’ll come back around eventually when you have time or feel up to it. To be honest I’ve been busy myself alot recently, and still am! So no worries mate! :O)

      You take care and talk soon! :O)

  8. hrhdaf said

    Bon jooooooooour Phil!!!
    Ive missed lots on here so Im gonna start at the top and work my way down leaving bits of comments hither and thither.
    I shall start by saying nice pussy and also that guys hung like a chimp ( I have no idea if thats a good thing or a bad thing). Oh and how does he do that toilet trick? I can only think he practises being a contortionist in his spare time!

    • He aint even hung like a chimp! That’s a female Bonobo! lol I thought that would add insult to injury hahaha. How he got in that bog I do not know. I’m only guessing here, but, I think that picture may be photoshoped! shhhhhhhhhhh

  9. Anonymous said

    You are just scary clever (and funny) it’s unreal. Honest to God, I know it sounds bad.. But I didn’t even know the name of this man. I mean, I knew, obviously, that there was a man like this running the show – but you’ve got him weighed up to a T
    Does he really go to Ibiza for his holidays… Or
    is that just a joke? I’m guessing he doesn’t have a cat called splodge either.. But.. You’re wasted here, really, you should be writing for a National newspaper or something – you’re too talented for words! Beats all the other shite I read on WP hands down!

    And “for the Lulz” ooh, I think I may have to just
    pinch that little chestnut off you.. Hehe
    So good! :D
    I can’t comment on any of the other political stuff, obviously .. You know I can only talk about fluffy kittens lol
    Tc x

    • Hi Nicola!

      LOL I made a bit up, let me tell you what I made up:

      (1) Indeed, the Ibiza piss-up was a lie.

      (2) He doesn’t have a cat called splodge, not to my knowledge anyway.

      (3) He doesn’t drink alcohol (To my knowledge)

      Everything else is more or less true!

      I’m not sure I’d get far on a larger platform like a mag, because the libal cases would come thick and fast, even though I can blur the lines quite a lot. So I’m staying away from that at the moment.

      I understand about the politics making your head hurt, go stroke some kittehs or make dinner for your hubby, you’ll feel better then! lol ;O)

  10. prenin said

    Sounds about right!!! PMSL!!!

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

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