I Don't Fear The Chaos!

Questioning Everything and Everyone!

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The Garden 2015

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on November 23, 2015

Hey there readers! Well… I say ‘readers’ and mean those few people still here and that one goat (Simon) that wondered over from Daf’s page!

A few words about that poor goat, when he came over to my place he was in a right state! He couldn’t talk as he was so traumatised (or maybe that’s because he’s a goat?). I don’t know what Daf had done to him but he looked like this after a visit to the vet:

poor goat

But not to worry, he was back to normal after a all expenses paid holiday. Check him out:

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Anyway, back on track! If you like gardening then you may like this! If you don’t then you’re best off watching the goat surf and giggling to yourself for a while instead (I managed 3 minutes before I got bored, let me know how long you last).

This year I did a lot of work in the garden, I usually do something with the garden each year but this year I did quite a lot! In fact I managed to get it more like my original plans I created fifteen years ago (those old plans never came to fruition for a few reasons that I don’t need to go in to right now).

The first thing to note about the garden this year is that the two huge Leylandii trees were removed from the back of the garden, which gave us a lot more sun, space and water for the surrounding garden. Unfortunately the stumps and root systems were left in place! So me and my brother got to work to remove most of the root system, but will have to remove the full stumps in early 2016.

The first few pictures are of the garden in early April 2015 as it was after it was cleared the previous Autumn. I’d also like to apologise for the blurring out of certain things as I’ve had issues with morons on the net before and value my own and my family’s privacy and safety.

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In the above pic you can just see one of the tree stumps I mentioned earlier in the top right.

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In the above picture you can just see the old hedge I planted, from the end paving flag at the middle bottom of the picture, moving it’s way to the left then around the edge of the path. We had to remove these as well as they were taking up far too much space. The point of the hedge was to be a wind break for the plants, but they stood up just fine when they were bunched together (well… most of them did anyway).

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The above picture is the position where most of the comparison pictures will be taken from.

You can see (above) that there is a circle of greener grass in the center of the lawn, this was because I seeded it last year in preparation for putting a path around the edge which would be contained by log edging (pictured before it went in).

I decided to move the path from left of the picture to the center and make it wider, which is marked by two orange bricks.

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In the above picture you can see how much clearer and ordered the garden is. We created the new path and had to use a different log edging to finish the edge as the original large ones were not sold anymore. We had to make do with small ones and add steaks to them every 2 and half feet to enable us to sink them.

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Next (above), I wanted to add an inner level circle of bricks (I had these left over from my old cold frame) flush with the grass for the inner edge of the path and to make it easier for mowing. This didn’t go very well but was rectified later on.

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A view from above shows how the inner circle was a bit ‘out’ at the 10:50 position if you look at the circle as clock with the path as 6. Also, look at the bluebells at the bottom left and right of the picture. Sadly they’re not English but invasive, but still beautiful!

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While that was being done we also decided to mend the fencing and give it a lick paint seeing as it hadn’t been done for a while (that’s my brother there painting away). It wasn’t really the weather for painting and I can remember it rained on us at least once, but it had to be done before all the plants were in place and growing.

In the next few pictures below you can see the grass being removed, the ground being leveled, the brick circle being fixed and the chip-bark going down.

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It doesn’t look like it (above) but a liner was laid before the chip-bark went down, I just laid it section by section as it was windy (the bricks were used to hold it down).

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There it is all done! You probably noticed that some plants were springing up too. Some of these were already there and some were added later on that were either grown by myself of came from the garden centre.

Below there’s a picture of the garden a little further on with more plant growth.

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You can see on the left and almost top right there’s some Lupins, I grew these myself and was quite proud of them, until the giant aphids ate them! Something else I grew this year for the first time were Foxgloves (top center), although they are quite toxic I didn’t know how toxic they were. However I kept them on for that year and had no issues with them and neither did any of my Mam’s cats, and they also flowered right up until November!

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Here’s a better look at one of those Lupins with one of my Mam’s cats. I think he was contemplating attacking a Bee!

The next lot of pictures (below) are panning from the left of the garden to right to give you a full view of the garden.

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The final picture of the garden from that angle is it in full bloom at the height of Summer!

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Something else I finally did after all these years was create an area for the family to sit! It was supposed to be paved but seeing as I lacked the monetary funds and the skills to lay paving, I opted for something else.

I first tried chip-bark but it didn’t feel or look right, so then ended up using gravel. Gravel wasn’t great but was better than the chip bark. Next year the gravel will go around the path, as it was supposed to, and hopefully we can finally get a patio!

The pictures below show this evolution.

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This is the area just when I started (above).

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The above picture was after and I wasn’t that fond of it.

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And there’s how it looks now. It isn’t great but it’s better than nothing! In fact I enjoyed myself out there last Summer, having a little drink and chat (obviously there was table and chairs then)!

Here’s a view from the gravel area:

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There you can see most of my planters. In fact the blue one closest to the camera is the planter I entered into a competition with my good friend Daf! This year we had a competition for the best planter, the award was bragging rights! The pictures are below, apparently it was a draw?

planter comp

Anyway that’s enough of that, I shall await Daf’s wrath! Oh, and I’ll be returning to some blogging soon and will visiting some pages too! It’s not like I’ve had nothing to say I’ve just been busy doing other stuff and generally got sick of politics and debating it. I just needed  break from it I think.

Until next time take care and all the best!

 

Posted in Hobbies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Are you voting?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on May 5, 2015

voting-paper-ballots

I don’t feel particularly ’empowered’ by voting or the thought of it, in fact I feel powerless, and have done for a long time now.

Why? Influence of the very rich, powerful, bankers and business trumps mine, and your vote, every time.

Not only that but also the political system has no repercussions for politicians if they don’t deliver what they promised or if they’re corrupt. Some people, politicians included, would argue that our vote (support too) would be the repercussion, but we’ve seen time after time that one fuck up after another and these bastards get away with things that a normal person would go to prison for. They walk away free with fortunes, gold-plated pensions and assured jobs elsewhere.

The answer?

I would advocate connecting wages with the success that they’re making, or not making.

I would advocate politicians who don’t deliver what they promise in their manifestos (or are corrupt) have ALL their earnings taken from them (including homes and any other assets) and are barred from entering politics again.

If they stand to lose everything, their money and freedom, just like a normal person would, we would see a change.

However, this isn’t going to happen because not one party out there is offering this sort of answer up, not one. Until this is offered and a valid political system that is put in place that makes our elected officials work for us, then I can’t vote.

Some people and politicians would say people should get involved more often at the local level, to hold our elected officials to account that way. There’s two things wrong with this:

1) The majority of people in this country are politically uneducated or ignorant, holding MP’s and Councillors to account will be difficult without the country’s and local communities support. And let’s face it, the attitude of people in this country, what I’ve seen and heard first hand about work as well as politics is: “I can’t be arsed/bothered!”.

2) Just as in politics at the national level, so it will be at the local level, those with more money and influence will get to the front of the Que first and more or less dictate policy.

So in brief we need a political system where politicians will be held to account and an electorate who is educated enough to demand it. We’re currently lacking both.

The old system isn’t working anymore, we can see it throughout the western world, less and less people are voting, though this doesn’t mean they’re not interested in politics. Some people are trying to influence government by joining pressure and lobbying groups, which works to a degree, but there’s still not enough people engaged in politics. And besides, that would still make voting infective.

We need an actively and engaged citizenry with a proper system that punishes non-deliver of promises and corruption; and awards delivery. And I just can’t see it happening.

Oh, and before I go, the ‘If you don’t vote then don’t complain‘ bullshit is a cop out. If that’s the case then all my democratic right to vote means is I get to complain when the people I voted for don’t deliver what they said they were or are corrupt. Is that what a democratic vote really stands for in this country? People have thought and died for that right and it’s a smack in their faces that all it guarantees me is the right to complain and not have my right influence the course of a democracy. So please, don’t lay that on me.

gates of dem white

Posted in News and politics | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

Day 2: What’s Your Name?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on January 4, 2014

It’s day 2 of the zero to hero blog challenge, well it’s in fact day 3 but I was out of a time a little yesterday.

This challenge was to edit my title and tag-line and also put in a widget (Go here for a full run down of the challenge). I’d already done this a while a back and was happy with it, so I thought I’d just give my tag-line some work as the: “Warning: Strong Content! You Have Been Warned!” one was a little lacking. It does serve a purpose as it warns people there is strong content here that could make them cry and quickly inspire someone to “Think of the children!”.

 

I settled on: “Questioning Everything and Everyone!” Why? Because that’s what I do! It’s also what everyone else should do, if you’re always aware of the world around you and the people in it, especially the type that come to you as authority figures, then the wool will not be so easily pulled down over your eyes. Even question those you agree with or share ideological sympathies with, and, quite crucially, yourself. There’s nothing worse than a big head who thinks they’re never wrong! Once you start to believe you have it all sussed then you may as well change your name to ‘Smuggy McSmug‘ and join a cult because your critical thinking days are over. I’d just like to say I’m not advocating people act like a KGB agent and interrogate everyone they meet or know, I mean people should question the world and things around them if they don’t seem right. And if you can’t tell when something isn’t right then just question everything for a while and you’ll pick it up soon enough.

This leads nicely to why my blog name is: “I Don’t Fear The Chaos!“. This is because I’m not afraid of the fall out of the resulting of asking certain questions, saying certain things many in society dare not to and standing against established political authority (Especially when I think what they’re doing is questionable).

Here’s a poster I made a few years ago about questioning everything and everyone:

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I know this gif is quite slow, I did originally have it faster, but I slowed it down for those who don’t read so fast. I was contemplating doing a post on this poster but this post will suffice.

That’s it for that task, I wont be doing Day 3 because I’m happy with the blog I wrote. Also, just for the fun of it, here’s Sick of it All:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 18 Comments »

Who Am I And Why Am I Here?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on January 2, 2014

No, this is not an existential philosophical question, I’m not going to bore you with what I learned from the Philosophy leg of my degree I completed last year! Questions like; are a pair of underwear that you cut the unwashable stains out of and then repaired, still the same pair or not (I know most of you have done this!)? Mind blowing, no? Nah, I’m going to bore you with something completely different! You lucky people you!

No, I’m taking part in the ‘Zero to Hero: 30 Days to a Better Blog‘ (All links in my posts open in a new page), to try to re-connect with the blogging world and re-evaluate why I’m actually doing this. So, you may get a blog a day for 30 days, or I may give up, or I’ll forget, be strapped for time, or I’ll be eaten by the flesh-eating Zombies and the road warrior Cannibals that inhabit the area where I live and so would not be able to fulfill my blogging obligations. Either way, you’re getting a blog thrown at you.

My name is Philip, and I have a few issues with the human race and a few with myself (No I’m not schizophrenic but that would be a great excuse for my questionable weirdness). Originally I started blogging in 2006 to vent my anger and frustration I saw in the human world around me, this mostly involved politics, religion and social issues. My aim at the time was to talk about issues the media and people in the UK generally found taboo or just wouldn’t touch because it was too much of a sensitive issue. Coming from a family where anything and everything was up for discussion or debate I believed, and still do believe, that the world outside my door should be no different. If we start placing limitations on what we can and can’t discuss or question because it may hurt someone’s feelings, then I believe we’re creating a society and a culture where we will be limiting our scientific, personal, mental and artistic advancement, which is not healthy for the individual or the human race as a whole.

I still advocate the above, anyone and everyone is welcome to comment on anything and everything! No holes barred! I knew this would offend some people and it did, in 2007 I had my Windows Live Space closed because of pictures I posted featuring cancerous growths on humans as part of a piece on the smoking and it’s being banned in the UK in public buildings. I gained it back after I said I would take the offending pictures down, which was laughable because the pictures that were flagged were nothing compared to some of the other things that used to grace that site. This was exactly what I was talking about earlier, we can’t look at the reality of smoking because someone gets offended, therefore we have to censor reality, which is not healthy.

Because of the censorship I looked elsewhere at different sites and they were all the same, they all had a Terms of Service and some group or moral squad (Or factional idiots) who policed them.

After a while of writing and debating with people (Which was fun, depressing and annoying all at the same time), I decided that my time may be better spent actually educating myself to try to actually achieve change in the world around me instead of pointing out the problems and ranting about them. Yes, I’m well aware that my actually bringing any change to the world around me is very remote, I’m more likely to be hit by a car driven by George Best’s drunken zombie (He’s a regular around where I live!) than actually bring political or social change at even the basic local level. However, this doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try! Although it upsets me I will not be able to change things in a big way and help people, at least I’m trying, which is all I can do.

I always knew, when writing my blogs and before that, that I had some huge gaps in my knowledge and understanding of the world and many things in it. So when I started my studies in 2011 I was prepared to be a little overwhelmed and frustrated. However, when I began and still now, I realize how little I actually know which then lead me to self-doubt. You think to yourself; “If I’m wrong about that, how do I know I’m not wrong about other things?” I had this thought before, but being forced to question everything you’re reading, analyzing it and looking at it from different angles, it makes you feel you aren’t intelligent enough to tackle issues in case you misinterpret or over look things.

That, along with studies and generally trying to manage my illnesses is why I haven’t been blogging as much as I should. It’s not that I don’t have anything to talk about, I just don’t always feel so capable of  doing it, not just because of self-doubt but there’s so much work involved and I have a tough time concentrating as it is.

What to expect from me? I’m hoping to do some more new blogs to discuss tough topics as well as carry on doing some slightly different ones about health, art, music, hobbies, general fun and many other things. Which is a change considering I started off with politics, religion and social issues. However, you will be upset and offended at some point, it’s inevitable in life (Like that one person on the bus who stinks and just happens to sit/stand next to you), and when that happens you can discuss what’s upset you rationally or you can be a big baby (Like David Miliband). Either way I reserve the right to ignore you, wind you up, tell you to fuck off or calmly debate with you like I do 99% of the time. I’m always respectful to people I meet in real life and on the net, you’re respect level from me is 100%, it’s up to you if it stays that way. Then again if you’re anything like me, which you most likely aren’t, you wont care about respect, unless it’s coming from the people who matter most in your life! However I still do it out of courtesy because I don’t know a person and can’t fully know a person on looks/image/writing alone. Though some people are so transparent and see-through that a good look or a five-minute conversation will render their respect level zero!

I can’t reply to every comment or blog post, whether mine or someone else’s, I have a life to live and sometimes I also forget (And procrastinate or find something better to do), but  I will try to reply, post and read everything. Remember, I’m only human!

I’m not sure who I’m hoping to meet while still doing this, I mean, I don’t search people out, I stumble upon them or them on me. I can be very unsociable and misanthropic on-line and in real life, but I’ve met some lovely, genuine people on the net while blogging, something I wasn’t planning on doing or happening, and I’m glad I met them! Some are very opposite me ideologically, geographically and socially, but we still get along fine. I’ve also met some right bastards on-line; disgusting examples of the human race! But I try to focus on the good people these days instead of bad so as not to remind myself that 90% of the world’s population are content to be ignorant when they possess the same ability to learn as all other humans!

I’m not sure what I want to accomplish if my blog is ‘successful’. I don’t care if it is or isn’t, if it wasn’t I’d write for the fun of it, if it was then it’s good. I suppose I just write because it’s an outlet and can be helpful to me.

Hope you all had a good New Year!

– Phil

Just for the fun of it though, here’s Hatebreed:

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 12 Comments »

It’s All Going Swimmingly!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on December 4, 2013

Hey all!

I know I’ve been absent, but I’ve had a valid reason! I’ve been busy with course work (Or trying to be busy with it) and also been exercising!

Yes, that’s right I’ve managed to do some exercise for the last 2 weeks and it’s going ok. I go swimming 3 times a week for an hour and it’s putting no pressure on my back! I was planning on doing some weights in the gym too (Weights on wires so it takes the emphasis off the back) but I haven’t gotten around to doing that yet.

Considering I haven’t been swimming since I was about 12 I did fine. The first time I tried it was a little difficult going but I stayed up. Having said that, I actually forgot how to float! Sounds stupid, yeh? But I couldn’t float lol. The second time I went though I’d learned how to do it, your body just natural wants to float.

I am now getting faster and my conditioning getting better so I only need three 3 to 4 minute breaks between every 15 mins of swimming. I wouldn’t stop during the 15 mins for a few seconds if I didn’t have to keep pulling up my shorts! lol One day there’s going to be a full moon in that pool and I’m going to get bollocked! haha. The faster I kicked my legs the faster the shorts come down so I’m not sure how fast I’m capable of going.

That’s besides the point though, I’m there to do some exercise, it doesn’t matter how fast I’m going as long as I’m doing it enough to burn the fat and lose weight. So far I’ve lost 3 pounds (That was last week) and I’m going to have a lost more this week! I’m aiming to lose a stone (6kg/14lbs) a month at first, then slow it down a little so I don’t make myself ill.

So I’ve changed my diet too, no more than 1700 calories a day and also my lifestyle, the only thing getting in the way of this keeping going is the back, sometimes with the back it can be a chore to get there and back. Also there’s the cost to consider in the long-term, though my Student Union card should bring that down!

Anyway hope everyone is doing good!

– Phil

And just for the fun of it, here’s David Mitchell:

Posted in Uncategorized | 44 Comments »

Excuse me while I cripple myself for the good of my health

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on November 12, 2013

So I’m trying to do some weightlifting exercises again, even though the Doctors and specialists have advised me not to. I can’t keep sitting on my arse and doing nothing. A lack of inactivity sinks my mood quicker than a huge iceberg sinks a super liner that was poorly constructed with sub-standard steel (I know, I’m hilarious).

Now when I say ‘sinks my mood’ I mean I get horribly depressed, and I don’t like to admit that on here. I mean, I can quite happily mention and chat about shitting my guts out with Ulcerative Colitis but I don’t like mentioning depression. Quite odd for an individual who talks about anything and everything, isn’t it? I suppose because I think it’s a weak spot for me, but this isn’t the subject of the post.

What I want to get across is that the importance of physical activity to me is paramount! I need to do something physically demanding to keep my mood ‘stable’. Other things I do don’t come anywhere near to providing me with the feel-good endorphins I get from weights or jogging. I want you to understand why I choose to do something that leaves me in pain, discomfort and maybe even cripple me temporally (It’s happened before, of course I wasn’t literally crippled, just immobilize for days or even weeks).

Why am I telling you this? I’m telling you because I’m going to keep a diary for a few weeks (It may just be a few a days depending on how long I can last) of my progress and then post it, and it will contain pieces of me moaning and hurting myself while trying to be healthy physically and mentally. I have to do something or I will be worse off. I’m also documenting this so it gives me more reason to do it and keep up with it.

Mon 23rd Spe 2013: Day 1 – Chest & Tricep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Chest press – 45kg

dumbbell Flye – 10kg each

Dumbbell pull-over – 15kg

Overhead Dumbbell extention – 15kg

Close grip bench press – 10kg

Reverse close grip press – empty bar

I found this difficult, especially as I don’t have the right type of bench of for the dumbbell pull-over. I had to do the reverse close grip without weights. I wasn’t powerful enough to press in that position.

I had pain during the exercise but it was tolerable at the time. Once I’d finished and showered I had more pain and couldn’t get comfortable. Had to get out of bed and take some pain killers and hit the hay.

Woke up the following morning feeling surprisingly OK as I usually wake up with pain in my back, which can get worse towards the afternoon.

Tues 24th Sep 2013: Day 2 – Legs & Sholders – 5 sets of 5 reps

Barbell Sqauts – 50kg – 20kg

Dumbbell Lunge – 15kg – 10kg

Stiff leg deadlift – 40kg

Seated Barbell press – 30kg 20kg

Dumbbell front raise – 10kg each

Barbell shrug – 50kg – 40kg

It hurt more today than yesterday. I couldn’t do squats with more than 20kg safely without the right equipment. Didn’t have enough weight for the dumbbell lunges as they’re an old set and not like my olympic weight set. Stiff leg dead lift hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. I had to do the seated barbell press stood up as I couldn’t comfortably lift from the bench, which as always isn’t fit for that exercise. Barbell shrug was the worse! I don’t think I’ll be doing it again, it just causes more pain than usual, which means ‘stop!’.

Wed 25th of September -Day 3: Back & Bicep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Deadlift – 60kg 40kg

One arm row – 15kg

Reverse grip barbell row – 30kg

Barbell curl – 20kg

Dumbbell concentration curls – 10kg

Reverse grip barbell curls – 20kg

I woke up on day three felling stiff in the back area. Warmed up and tried to do some weights. After my first set of deadlifts I crippled myself. I’m now taking medication for it and I feel drunk. If I wasn’t feeling this way I’d be annoyed, frustrated, mad and depressed. Don’t think I’ll be doing anything for at least 4 to 5 days. Still some slight discomfort and difficult to walk.

It’s now November 2013 and my back is still weak and other attempts to get started again have failed. They failed because my back feels so weak, in pain and ready to go at any time, even when walking. I can only walk for half an hour before my back starts getting tight and I start staggering.

I went to see my Doctor last week and he gave me a run down of what the specialists said. It isn’t Sacroilitis, it’s ‘mechanical back pain’, that is nondescript back pain. There’s apparently something wrong with certain disks in my spine in the lower back area but they can’t really say what it is. They also can’t do much for me besides give me pain killers which I try not to take because they don’t kill the pain completely and they make me feel tired and drunk.

The only option I have left now is swimming and the Doctor and council will not help me, like they would’ve done before the government cuts (Because of lack of funds). So Now I have to find £25 a month for the liberty of going swimming for 2 hours a day 5 days a week. I’m going to try it for a month and see what happens, if it does work for me I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford it as I have money issues as it is already. Let me tell you, living on benefits in the UK isn’t that great, so I don’t have much to live on (Regardless of what the Tories and their voters say).

I could go swimming in the local river, but I don’t much fancy picking up a flesh-eating disease. So I’m pretty pissed off, oh, and my Doctor had the nerve to say having a negative state of mind makes any pain I do get worse. So any pain I do get is magnified and said I should be more positive. To which I replied: “That’s bollocks” he said it wasn’t, I repeated again “It’s bollocks!”, he disagreed again and I said for the 3rd time, “That’s bollocks!” I said this because he was basically inferring my negative state of mind was making the pain seem worse.

I told him that I was in the best state of mind and body I’d been in for years prior to developing these current back issues and even when they were at the most painful I was still in a positive mindset and the pain was excruciating. The issue is I’ve been gradually getting less and less active and because of that I’ve been getting more and more depressed because I can’t exercise and raise my endorphin levels. There’s nothing else I can do that lifts my mood like exercise does, so I end up eating food I shouldn’t be eating.

You could argue I should go on a diet and not eat the stuff I eat, however this isn’t so easy as I can’t raise my mood so sticking to a diet is almost impossible because I have zero will-power (Because I don’t have exercise to help me keep my mood stable and so suppress my appetite). So going on a diet would make my mood sink more and I wouldn’t be able to keep to it. So yeh, self-control, I used to have it!

What’s the point of this post? I just wanted to whine because I have no other outlet.

And here’d Suede, just for the fun of it:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | 20 Comments »

Morons and Headaches = Lack of sleep!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on October 25, 2013

I’m at the family home right now and I tried to go bed with a headache and rapid heartbeat, as happens to me a lot because of my anxious nature and medication I take. However I thought I’d get to sleep eventually as I usually do, but no… because the witless, brain-dead, empty-headed retards on the 16 story block of flats behind the deadanarchist family homestead were throwing what I can only describe as tires from the windows!

I couldn’t actually see what was thrown as there’s two huge leylandia trees blocking the view over the first ten floors and the car park below. But the sound, it sounded like rubber car tires hitting the large steel roof that overhangs the entrance to the flats. Though it’s unlikely to be tires, so I’m thinking it was more like furniture. Huge thuds and bumps accompanied occasionally by what sounds like empty beer or coke cans, though from the shouting they’re most likely to be beer cans.

I would complain but it doesn’t matter (Actually I can’t complain because I don’t live here anymore), the housing association will just let more dickheads on the block (After they’ve kicked the current bunch off) because they don’t vet them properly! And so a high turnover of morons will been seen from that block and many others in the area because of the lax vetting.

Oh, and all this was happening at 2:30am in the morning. One can only hope they fall out and hit every ledge on the way down. I know, that sounds mean but it’d probably be the kindest thing for them and a benefit for society in the long run. That was mean. But, hmmmm… is Phil joking though?

dxh82a

So now I’m awake and can’t sleep so I thought I check on wordpress and listen to some music while my body waits to get to the point where I have no choice but to sleep. You know it’s odd, I feel tired all day no matter how much sleep I get, but I don’t sleep well or for very long these days. It’s a combination things I think that causes it.

Anyway, I have some comments to answer so I’ll leave you with Fleetwood Mac – ‘Little Lies’ simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to!

Have a good weekend all!🙂

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness | 12 Comments »

A Pain in the back, a pain in the head and a pain in the arse (basically an update)

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on September 15, 2013

Any regular readers or old-time friends who read my blogs will know that I was almost completely absent from blogging last year (2012), and most of this year (2013). For me this is unusual, I can go missing from blogging for weeks or months on end and then come back with something.

However, this time I didn’t. The reason for this? I was preoccupied with my University degree and generally being  and trying to be healthy. For those people who know me they will know how rare this is as I have several illnesses that impact my ability to do many things and go places.

One of the worse of these was Ulcerative Colitis. I was taking Prednisolone steroids to control this in conjunction with Mesalazine. But then I had to switch medication as the medical steroids I was on had given me steroid-induced diabetes (Type 2 Diabetes) and weren’t always delivering consistent results. Since I started taking Azathioprine medication to control the Ulcerative Colitis in late 2011 I slowly got better and it gave me my life back. Now when I say ‘better’ I mean things were good and well controlled but I still had and still do have issues with the UC. In fact after being diagnosed with the diabetes it made me more depressed and this stalled the UC recovery into to early 2012.

As the UC was beginning to get better I was able to be more physically active, something I’ve not been able to do properly for a while. I think I was helped along with this when I had a bad bout of OCD, to stop myself from ruminating and worrying I threw myself in to my exercise regime, which is something I badly needed to do as I was 25st (350lbs/158kgs) and had the diabetes to worry about too. I’d gained so much weight because of years of the UC affecting my diet, so many foods I ate, that were good for me, triggered a reaction with the UC. So I ended up eating junk food, which didn’t apparently do anything. Combine that with lack of exercise because that set the UC off too and being housebound and you’ve got yourself the right combination for more health troubles.

I started off on the treadmill just walking for half an hour five days a week, it was gentle and not too much hassle. I did however get blisters on both my feet and on my toes because my feet weren’t used to wearing shoes for so long and in such conditions. These were huge blisters too! But I couldn’t take time out, it wasn’t an option anymore, so I just looked after my feet and bandaged them when I went on the treadmill.

Gradually my feet got used to it and I started to walk for longer and then jog. I made a game of it, I’d try to jog for that bit longer each time I did the ‘run’ in the run and walk system that I used on there. When I say ‘run’, it was more of a jog for me as running put too much pressure on my back and knees, not to mention the treadmill! I began to develop great endurance and at my best I could jog non-stop for an hour and half. I couldn’t go no more than that because if I did my back would completely give in, I was getting back pain just doing the run and walk system for an hour.

During the times I was doing the treadmill I was also lifting weights too, but not too many and not too heavy. I’d set off my back pain doing weights on and off since the age of 16.

All this paid off as I went from being 25st (350lbs/158gs) to just under 18st (252lbs/114kgs) from November 2011 to August 2012 (though I only started my proper exercise regime in April 2012). I felt great! I was feeling physically and mentally well, the first time in a long while. Things were going so good I moved out of the family home and was even contemplating getting a part-time job, because despite what some people may say the UK benefit system isn’t that great and I’d rather make my own way in the world anyway.

Then came August 2012, the back issues I’d had on and of since I was 16, the ones that made me unable to walk for days and not able to walk properly for weeks, came back! The Doctor who came out to see me diagnosed Sciatica and my GP said the same thing. They gave me pain killers and told me to rest, do some core exercises to help strengthen my back then exercise as usual when back to normal, and if the pain comes back then take some pain killers and carry on. The pain has never gone away and I could not possibly exercise with those pain killers as the amount I’d need to dull the pain sufficiently leaves me really tired and feeling drunk. And lifting weights and jogging when you’re drunk aint such a good idea.

I had the issue investigated this year with X-rays and a CT scan, one of the Doctors said I may have Sacroillitis, before the X-rays and CT Scan was done, though I couldn’t see how that could be as Sacroillitis is a problem caused by inflammation caused by inflammatory bowel disease, I know I have that but I’ve only had that since 2005 and I’ve had these back issues since 1999! So that was dismissed by me and my GP who thought it unlikely too. The results from the X-ray and CT Scan came back and there’s a problem there, they can’t say exactly what it is, but it’s there and there’s nothing they can do. They advised me not to jog, run, lift weights or do any exercise that puts pressure on my back. This only leaves me swimming, which I can’t afford as a pass at the local gym is £22 a month which I can’t afford, the only other pool near by is £29, so both are out of the question.

Walking is supposed to be good but I can’t walk or stand for more than half an hour anymore without getting a tightening in my lower back, like someone’s stuck a cork-screw in there and is turning it. If try to carry on walking the pain gets worse and spreads down my groin and legs. Despite this I’ve been trying on and off since August 2012 to restart my regime despite what the Doctors and specialists say but I am just incapable of keeping to it anymore, there’s always pain and a lot of the time I’m physically incapable of completing the movements.

Without the exercise to release the endorphins (and I really need those guys) I need to help suppress my appetite and generally feel good… I’m slowly putting it back on. So I’ll be starting another diet tomorrow, only 1500 calories, to try drop my weight because it just isn’t healthy at all for me, and I don’t enjoy feeling unhealthy. The most annoying thing is I want to be physically active, but my body just wont allow it.

Hence why I wasn’t around much last year or most of this year, because I’ve been trying to stay physically and mentally healthy.

Another reason why I haven’t been on much is my University degree. Despite the obvious study, reasearch and writing of notes and essays and the like, there was something else about my course that stopped me from coming on.

It’s not that I can’t do or understand the work, I mean I passed the level 2 Philosophy module in my Politics, Philosophy and Economics degree and 2 others, the issue is that I’m learning so much and it makes me even more unsure of my own opinions. What I mean by this is I read a piece of work then think I’ve got it nailed and seen from all angles, then comes along another way to look at a particular issue from another angle I think to myself, “How could I miss that?”. It’s made me quite unsure of many opinions I hold.

I mean, if I’m wrong about that I could be wrong about many other things. And in fact, so can many other people. This is nothing I didn’t already know but doing this whole course brings it to the forefront because I’m forced to think about these things a lot.

This may sound stupid and cliché, but the more I learn the less I feel I really know.

Anyway, it’s this thinking, alongside my obsessive over thinking I do anyway, that tires me out mentally. Combined with illness and medication side-effects I can barely think straight most days, which makes it extra challenging to do the course and put everything I have into it. This is another reason I couldn’t come on, I was just too mentally tired after being consumed in study, reasearch and writing.

This piece is the blog I should have come back with instead of my Syria one, which is a bit of a throw back to how I used to write, my other blogs should be well thought out and researched, just like the essays I’ve had to write. And you know what, writing them can be a pain in the arse too, especially as only a few people will even read them. Which is another reason why I wasn’t posting much, because if I do one of my long blogs again many normal people don’t bother much. There’s also the fact my blogging at the world also wont change much.

Oh, I didn’t mention my headaches, but they impact my blogging too, but sod them.

My next course starts in October 2013, so expect me to go quiet a little but I will still be around commenting on blogs and such. For now I’ll leave you with Bat for Lashes, simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to. Oh and how cute is Natasha Khan in the video?

Much love to all!

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

Another Romp Around The Middle-East?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on August 26, 2013

So it’s looking more likely there’s going to be another romp around the middle-east, this time with Syria as the host for the party.

And as usual there’s the same replies from all sides of the political spectrum and the Muslim world.

The left says: “No! This is neo-colonialism!”

The right says: “Yes! We must do something for those poor people!”

Many Muslims of the world, as always, point fingers at Western powers, spout about western intervention before that caused the problem, but offers no solutions for the problem.

As always Russia and China, wanting to keep their influence in the area so they can carry on doing financial and political business, don’t want any action in the area whatsoever. Rather they believe both sides should carry on a dialogue, by ‘dialogue’ we can only assume they mean killing each other in assorted ways.

The fact is all sides only care because of their ideological sphere of influence. The left is nearly always anti-war, especially when it involves the U.S. or the UK being involved. The right will welcome a war because it puts money in pockets of military contractors (That is if the country can afford it. In the UK the public appetite and money for war is just not there. So if war does go ahead, expect the UK to play an air support role).

Russia and China only care because Syria is a sphere of interest for them, they really don’t care if the people of Syria die horribly, as long as they can be seen to be not endorsing it in public (staying neutral) while frustrating the western powers and doing business with the Syrian regime.

Of course Western powers will say: “Wont somebody think of the children!” This is a load of shite, the West, like Russia and China, only care when it matters to them. What matters to them is debatable. It could be:

1.       Making economic gain from the resources in the region
2.       Business making money from military contracts
3.       Stabilise Israel’s back yard as it’s an ally of the U.S. and the West in general
4.       Broaden the West’s sphere of influence
5.       The west has to act because it’s been challenged
6.       All of the above

Number 5 could be the reason to engage and accomplish 1 to 4. In fact, Barack Obama said there was a line to be crossed and it’s been crossed and now he can’t go back over it. With the use of chemical weapons supposedly being used by both sides and not knowing who did it, they may have to act, even if they do not wish to be involved. Add to this a sniper shooting at the UN inspection team, again we don’t know who did this, but it can be seen further as provocation to act for the Western powers.

As for the Muslims, they only care about Syria because they’re ‘Islamocentric’, that is, most are predisposed to care about the Muslim parts of the world because they are Muslim. If this was happening in Vietnam right now the Muslims of the world who are currently concerned about the situation in Syria would most likely not give one fuck, as they didn’t during the actual Vietnam war, and many other wars and situations where no Muslims were involved. In fact when Muslims are the ones doing the butchering the Muslims of the world pay little attention, dismiss or don’t care about that, the same when a Muslim leader butchers his people. Muslims didn’t give much of a fuck about Iraq or Afghanistan until the West went in there with their drones and bombs and started killing innocent people along with the Islamists. Then there was a rally against the west and condemnation, but the Taliban executing people and denying women rights was not worth campaigning against.

So, I believe not all of these groups legitimately really care about the people of Syria. They’re acting in their own interests, which disgusts me! Groups are playing international politics while people die! Just another a day on planet Earth, eh?

So what should be done to help the people of Syria? Well there is an international organisation called the United Nations that should step in and stop this from happening. But would you believe it, even in the UN the same groups of people play international politics, Leftist and Muslim nations banned together and back up Russia and China while the Western nations banned together and dominate the UN security council and push through what’s important to them.

Ultimately the people that matter in the conflict will be the ones who suffer no matter what action is taken, all this because the international community plays international politics and ideological games.

We need a war, a war to end all wars! Dispense with the scum with their ideologies who currently claim to represent the people of the world. It’s stupid I know, will washing everything away change much and could that even be accomplished?

As for a realistic plan for Syria, there isn’t one, if you invade with the best of intentions people will die, if you don’t get involved people will die, so whatever happens, the people will suffer. Such is Human nature and stupidity.

Do you have an idea for Syria, what should be done there?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments »

Iran’s REAL Secret Weapon!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on February 2, 2012

Following the endless stream of half-wit Lefty-Cunts, Muslims and Iranians (Just for the record not all of them were but the majority seem to be) who got offended by my ‘Iran’s Secret New Weapon!‘ video, I made a brand-new one to annoy them even further.

The first video was a joke at the expense of the Iranian Leadership, which is the Islamic Clerics, Politicians, Revolutionary Guard and portions of the armed forces (Because they’re so indoctrinated and blind they kill their own people and hate the West without much provocation). Despite writing this, and explaining numerous times in the comment section on YouTube, they carried on with the same crap about the whole west being run by Jews (Which isn’t true and had nothing to do with it), Palestine (Which had nothing to do with it) and assuming I was a Yank and calling me a ‘Mother fucker!’ and ‘Red Neck!’, which also had nothing to do with the video.

The video was in no way an attack on the Iranian people or its history and culture, but they all seemed to think it was. They also seemed to think it was about:

1. The Palestinian Crisis

2. The Uighurs in Western China

3. That I supported war on Iran (Which I don’t)

4. That I endorsed Israel having Nuclear Weapons (Which I don’t)

5. That I support the occupation of Palestinian land (Which I don’t)

6. American Slavery vs. Iranian Slavery (Fucked if I know how that came up!)

They’re just the ones I can remember. What I took away from this though is that the majority of people on YouTube are idiots! Regardless of explaining your position clearly in the notes section or the comment box they just don’t take it in. So I went Full on Troll and made a second one. I hope it brings as much rage to the stupid and brainless as the last one did. Enjoy!

Posted in Go Fuck Yourself!, My Videos | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »