I Don't Fear The Chaos!

Questioning Everything and Everyone!

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Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on July 1, 2008

Hiya everyone! Sorry I aint been about but I really have zero motivation at the moment! I’ve been ill on and off ever since I got out of hospital after my op in April to remove a dermoid cyst from my mouth and neck! I must have another little lump out tomorrow too! Blah blah blah blah… I don’t want to bore you with my numerous happenings. I just thought I owed you all an explanation of where I’ve been Actually, I’ve been mostly on MySpace commenting profiles, but not a lot of blogs! Why can’t Live spaces have profile comment boxes? They’re so much easier and my PC wouldnt freeze up when I comment spaces boxes! grrrrrrr

Anyway, to tide the readers of my blogs over here’s a repost from my back-up page last year.. It’s called ‘Surrender’, and it’s sort of how I still feel now. Oh… and can anyone answer me this question? What’s the point of contributing to society when that society is hollow, corrupt, greedy, selfish and built on the backs the exploited?


I’m not sure what sort of conclusion I’m going to come to at the end of this post, because as always my blogs are usually just one big long in-depth question, with no clear answer! So bear with me if I sound a little fragmented and incoherent.

Ever since I was old enough to comprehend and understand the magnitude of the society around me (About 14), I’ve always had this feeling that sooner or later I will have to surrender to the system. Yes I know, “Surrender to the system” very clichéd, but ultimately true. The system I’m talking about is my own personal view of the system, a combination of Capitalism and Human social conditioning. Human social conditioning differs from country to country, owing to ideological, religious and cultural differences, most of the Western or Westernized world has the same kind of HSC because they have Capitalism and history in common. So I am only going to touch on the British kind as that is what effects me and is what I am talking about in this post.

Throughout life you are under pressure in some way or another to conform to whichever community or social group you are in. Be it at the office (in a job), school, peer groups and even family. But to me, this is just total and utter surrender to the system! Making friends and getting along with your family is fine, just as long as you don’t change your attitude or the person you are to do it. What I view as surrender is: Working a 9 to 5 job you just do not like, just so you can please your parents, family, lovers, friends or society in general, because that’s what society want’s you to do. People feel compelled to go out and get a job no matter what it is so people don’t think they are lazy or a sponger. They feel compelled to go out and get the money that will put them on the pedestal they think they need to compare and measure up to others. They think money makes and equals a better person, they think a job makes and equals better status in life, they think a high bank ballance and status elevates them above others, when it doesn’t.

They go to work to earn money to buy the most expensive designer clothes to wrap themselves in a sort of removable, wearable, popularity and personality. They have to buy the most expensive commodities to give the impression of greatness and wealth to others and to show they have reached the pinnacle of society. This isn’t just the rich I’m talking about, it’s the working class! They actively mimic and aspire to the life and style of the rich and higher classes. In the past the working class were all about putting food on the table, now the majority lust for the life of the high classes, they seek status and the expensive lifestyle. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with making your life more comfortable, but it’s just the attitude change that comes with it that I don’t like. Like the “I’m better than you because I earn more money than you and I own property.” shite.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t resign myself to that, and can’t live my life that way. It’s just so uniform and wrong, it really gnaws at me! To me it goes like this, Go to school, be taught, go to College, be taught some more, go to Uni (If you can afford it!) pay for and earn a degree you may not even need, get a job (Even one you may not like) to get money, get the girl, get the expensive car, the house and the mortgage (AKA the noose!), have the kids, work for the rest of your life, if you’re lucky you may see your pension (If you have one at all), then you snuff it! Oh, and the bits in between when you’re not working is your life! Why does this happen? Mostly because of Human social conditioning and Capitalism. I know some people are happy in what they do and are happy doing the above, but I can’t, and most people just do it because it’s what is expected of them. How many people work jobs and work with people they despise? How many miserable bastards do you see going to work every morning with a face like thunder? That’s right, a hell of a lot! And they nearly all work soul-destroying jobs!

Now, to some people a job is a means to an end, to live and survive in a capitalist world and society. But once you are in, you surrender your life to the system and you become part of it. From that point on, in my opinion, your life is set and uniform! You run your life according to the system’s requirements and not your own. You have a life, but only from 5pm to 9am (Usually), the rest belongs to the system. You become a slave to your possessions, working to keep up the rental payments on your new car, your new HD widescreen TV and all the other expensive and non expensive shite you don’t need. In essence, it makes you think like you can’t live with out it, when you can.

I know it’s the nature of Capitalism and it keeps people and the economy alive, but surely there must be a less greedy, hollow, selfish and soul-destroying way to live and survive? Maybe people could work for free? They could do the jobs they want, work for free and take what they need (As much as they need and a little over) from the supermarket? If there isn’t enough jobs for the people, then they rotate the workforce every three or six months so everybody has a turn. Mr. X who likes to bake, bakes for 3 months then Mr. X takes three months off and lets Mr. Z take over, while Mr. X doesn’t work he can still take what he needs (With just over what he needs) from the supermarket. This would work in every type of job, just imagine, every type of job would be filled and the population’s work force would work on and off on rotas, they would also have more time off to live their lives with their families. Obviously, there are going to be jobs that no body wants to do, they will still have to be done. Everyone starts from the bottom and works their way up, regardless of qualifications or background, I would do it, as long as it benefited the whole society and I was elevated after my time was up. It would need some tweaking but it would be workable.

Unfortunately there’s always going to be some selfish awkward big-headed bastard who think’s it’s beyond them to do the mundane jobs! They want to go right to the top and stay there and be richer, more powerful and have better status than everybody else! These type of people run the system now, we would have no chance to convince them to change, the population is so trapped in side the system now they don’t even notice what’s going on. They mindlessly sit there watching the box in the corner with the pictures on, keep themselves amused with cheap shit they buy, they are all to preoccupied and contented with what they got they don’t want to change. So we will never convince them to change, they have everything they want (So they think), why would they want to change?

So I’m already half way across the line, I am in fact in the system, I rely on it. The money I get to live comes from the system, I am sick at the moment so I can’t work, I’ve been sick for a while (It’s an illness that can’t be faked, believe me!). The money I get, before anybody starts saying they support me, is money my parents paid in to the system when they worked, so I’m entitled to it! I never thought I’d say it, but I’m glad I’m sick so I can’t work! It saves me the indignity of getting a soul destroying job I despise and working full-time taking my life and happiness away to fill the pockets of the state with my unfairly taxed contribution. It’s so sad, I don’t think it will ever end, look at the 60’s for fucksake? All those hippies who were counterculture? Well, a lot of are businessmen now! They’re politicians, bankers, arms dealers and all the rest of the stuff they were against. They became what they despised… the system! Why? Because they left Uni and got jobs because the whole thing was just a rebellious phase for them. Just like it is for today’s so-called counterculture cultures, i.e Modern Hippies, Punks, Anti-capitalists and all the others. They nearly all conform in the end.

As for me, well, I’m under no illusions, I may have to join the rest of the sheep in the future. Going from job to job, because of no job security. I’ll be very lucky to get a pension for when I retire. Trapped on a run down Northern estate full of plebs, chavs, scallys and drug dealers who all have wafer-thin self-esteem and an insistence on proving themselves in some way. The words of John Lydon come to mind, “No future for you!” How fuckin’ true to, unless you consider no job security and working in McDonald’s, restaurants and retail as a future! The whole system and society is bollocks!

A society that measures the worth of a person by how much tax they pay, what their bank balance is and derives personality, self-esteem and soul from clothes, commodities and status, needs dismantling and starting a fresh or at least subverting Properly!


9 Responses to “Surrender”

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  2. Lesley said

    Hello you 🙂
    I\’ve been thinking about the French recently!….They appear to be happy because they are not governed by any one party. Of all the shit we tolerate over here they wouldn\’t ! and it seems to work well for them. I would love to be in contact with a few French folk to see how this freedom without a shepherd actually works.
    PS…..Are you going to let me in on that serious discussion sight that you\’ve found???

  3. ... Angelwitch said

    Heya mate  🙂
    blimey, it has been a while, i\’ve been thinking about taking a plunge into myspace the last couple of days to go look for you but never got round to it…had a lot happen recently. First off, i\’m working full time as a cleaner now. I\’ve got three different contracts to do monday to friday. richard has quit his morning job at Gala, for a job as a cleaning supervisor at the local New look so he\’s got weekends fully freed up now. And as for the weekends we\’ve spent the last few running around re-enacting again 😀
    that\’s us in a nutshell anyway, Oh and my sis\’s having another Baby, looks like around january now.
    Oh bloody hell, don\’t get me started on the latest lunacies of our country.It seems the parliament voted not to take up a load of recommendations in some study to cut down on their expenses and it looks like there\’s a media blackout over it, because there was a hell of an uproar the folllowing day and then not a peep.  Either that or i\’m getting more paranoid about things.
    But yeah, that\’s frigging mental that they\’ve still not sorted that lot out for you. Rich\’s mum\’s forever being messed around with her benefits. One minute she\’s on job seekers, the next she\’s signed off ill and back and forth. Poor girl\’s in her 50\’s, she\’s tried her hardest to find a job but no one want\’s to take on an aging woman with severe arthritus in her kness than makes it hard for her to walk anywhere, the fact that she hadn\’t worked for 20 years, being a full time single mum hasn\’t helped. It\’s impossible for her. I just wish someone would see sense and sign her off permenantly.
    Us, jaded? nah, we\’re insufferably pissed off with the fact that us honest joe\’s are being repeatedly screwed royally by whatever berk happenes to be in charge these days.
    Never thought i\’d agree with Milk Snatcher, but Society\’s dying these days, it\’s every bugger for themselves at this rate.
    oh well, enough political bashing for one day, i\’m too tired for it anyway.
    you take care, look after youelf and the family and hope to hear from you soon

  4. Prenin said

    Hi dude!
    A man after my own (demented) heart!!! :o)
    Hope you get well soon and that life treats you better!!!

  5. ·.♥.· Sheba's Haven ·.♥.· said

    hi phil, nice to hear from you again, have you been in hiding lmao.
    yeah i do know your your blog box is not html active hehe.
    oh phil you will get over it lol, im not to bad thank\’s.
    i keep saying im going to have some early night\’s, but never do lol.
    oh well keep smiling hug\’s xxxx sheila

  6. ·.♥.· Sheba's Haven ·.♥.· said

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  7. The Divine Mrs M said

    phil it so good to see you (((HUGS)))
    I remember this blog from first time round. and also quite a few of your comments (including the one I made about the Hippies <ahem> LOL )
    worse things to worry about, there\’s CLOWNS! over at my space at the moment! <true!>
    Best wishes for tomorrow Phil.
    Ive seen the insides of hospitals a fair few times myself this past year, and I have concluded, that the people we need to fear (most of the time) are not the consultants, but the flamin hospital RECEPTIONISTS!!! ….OH? and fugging BUS drivers (if like me you travel by bus)
    let us know how you get on Phil
    I will be thinking of you <kissss>  😉
    mags x

  8. Lesley said

    Hey you!….F*** the world! Just make the sun shine in your own garden! xxx

  9. penny said

    Hey, Philip, you obviously put a lot of thought into your blogs but I can\’t help feeling your opinion of society is a little jaded for one so young.  Try a little lateral thinking!  Life just isn\’t all beer and skittles.  See ya, Pen

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