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Wankers Of The Decade (so far)!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on November 4, 2008

I know we still have a few more months left of this year and a whole twelve months after that, but this decade is nearly coming to a close, so I thought I’d pause and reflect on some of the epic wankers this decade has seen, so far, and the mark, sorry… mess they’ve made.
First is everyones’ favourite red neck dunce, George W Bush Who basically stole and rigged the US election in 2000! He invaded Iraq with false evidence saying there was *speaks in a red neck accent* W.M.Ds in dem dar hills! While he did that he also managed to alienate a lot of the worlds moderate muslims and simultaneously nick the Iraqi oil! US national debt has grown by 70%, tax cuts for the rich and the world worser place for all his actions.
Osama Bin Laden and his band of nineteen simpleton plane hijackers (15 of them from Saudi-Arabia by the way). He and the hijackers, with a little help from the US government, managed to pull off the world’s largest terrorist atrocity in September 2001 (If you ask me the US and UK support of the slaughter of nearly one million communist supporters in Indonesia was more of a terrorist atrocity, but hey… what do I know!). Osama’s plan to cause the west to hate and mistrust the muslim world worked, add this to the US/west letting Saudi-Arabia fund and teach a extreme version of Islam in mosques in the west, and you’ve got a recipe for a larf. That crazy Osama, he’ll be the death of us all! Or will that be the US government?
Tony Blair. Well the only thing I think this man will be remembered for is that stupid, fake cheesy grin, his insistence on a photo opportunity, his failure to deliver “Education, Education, Education” (amongst other things) and a ill-advised jaunt in Iraq for a laugh with his ubber bestest mate George Bush. He certainly put the SOLD in Soldier when he sent UK men and women to die for the petrodollar and bank accounts of US big business. Actually if you think about it, he and the Ministry Of Defence (MOD) didn’t, it’s obvious they don’t value their lives because they sent them off to war ill-equipped.
Those in the US electorate that voted George Bush in for a second term! Well done!
Those of the US electorate that will vote Obama or McCain in to office! Well done again! They only both belong to the same political circles. Sod all will change dramatically.
The UK electorate for having the piss taken out of them two times this decade by Labour, and also for the fourth time when they vote the next party in to take the piss out of them again, whomever it may be.
Saddam Hussein. We’re all aware of Saddam’s rise to power and how the UK and US helped arm him, but that was the 1980’s and 1990’s. I’m talking about letting the current debacle in Iraq take place! He could have let the weapons inspectors in and done a secret deal with the USA and not been done for nothing and lived in Libya the rest of his life like Ida Amin. No, not Saddam, he wanted unmitigated violence and bloodshed, then again he was insane with power wasn’t he? Who else would think they had a chance against the combined US and UK armed forces? Anyway, he died how he lived, swingin’ dangerously!
Mehatmedinnerjacket (President of Iran). Not content with mentally suppressing his fellow country men and women, pissing off the UK by seizing a boat full of solders and holding them and apparently sending fighters to Iraq, he’s building nuclear bombs! Why? Well my first thought was “Small penis!”, but no, with politicians – especially insane ones –  you have to remember they have the mentality of primary school children. If they see something a class mate has they must have it too! Mehatmedinnerjacket – just like the leadership of Iran – wants attention, and like any primary school children they get attention by doing bad things, in this case… kidnaping a boat of British soldiers, making a nuke or threatening Israel. We’ll have to put him and Iran in the naughty corner and bring Germany out, I think 63 years is enough, eh? And while we’re sticking people in the naughty corner we’ll put the UK and US there too!
Gordon Brown for NOT imposing tighter financial regulation in the UK when he had the chance! And also for this: we are, we always have been and we always will be a pro business government“.  Nice to know where he REALLY stands. Some people will think I’m taking this the wrong way, well I’m not, they are for the businessman, not the common man.
The Human rights act of 1998. Thank you for introducing this Labour! It has managed to make an even bigger mockery of the law. It has managed to make the criminals the victims if anyone dares to defend themselves or their home. Leaving the police and courts with very little power to do anything and as a result the public have lost all faith in law and order in the UK. Only in the UK can you get burgled, stop the thief, ring the police and then get arrested for assault when they finally turn up, if they do at all!
Jade Goody. I know you’re ill, but just fuck off! This woman will most likely have a CCTV camera in her coffin so people can see her decompose! She has some serious self-esteem problems.
The neo L.A celebrity non-entities and movie stars! Complete waste of time, money, space, skin, organs and oxygen. You can’t open a news paper without seeing a picture of one falling out of a car with their legs open or having made a sex tape that wasn’t meant to be released but really was. Some times on the front page, sells a lot of papers. I think that alone says a lot about our society.
The mimics and followers of non-entities and celebrities. You are brainless sheep devoid of intelligence, individuality and sense. You all deserve to be sterilized at the least and shot at the worse, depending on which level of stupidity you’re at.
Celebrity culture. Calling what these pointless numbskulls get up to, do or wear “culture” is like calling a pile of shit pure gold. It isn’t culture, it’s just people with low self-esteem wearing or doing materialistic, extravagant things and soaking up attention from idiots who have no idea about anything but popular culture because that’s all they’ve been fed from the media and society.
Scallys and Chavs. Pete pointed something out about my “you make me wanna” blog, there was no mention of Scallys and Chavs. So here it is now. Seeing as Scallys and Chavs of this decade are different bread from the last, I think they’ll fit in just fine! The scruffy wankers that have no respect for anything or anyone should have all their possessions taken away from them, including their clothes and burned in front of them while the rest of the community spit at them and call them names. Once that’s done they should be put in wheelie bins and rolled down a very high hill in to a river! Sod the human rights brigade, we’ll do the same to them too!
Robert Mugabe. This wanker is epic in proportions, he started off well in the 80’s, doing well for his country and people. Then he went insane with power and since then he’s killed many of his own countrymen, moved white farmers off their land and resettled people on them that had no clue about agriculture. He’s intimidated the Opposition party and has been involved in numerous wars in Africa. Ran the economy of Zimbabwe in to the ground. All this wasn’t his fault of course, it was the UK’s he says. I can see where the UK’s economic warfare on Africa could piss him off but his economy was stable till he messed it up! He’s the actual scar on Africa, not colonialism! Same goes for all the bent African leaders! You are ALL adding to and ARE the instruments of your own continents and countries suffering.
Ida Amin (ex-president of Uganda). Died in 2003. GOOD! Why’s he a wanker? He literally got away with murder.
The British National Party. Racial purists Nazis parading as patriotic freedom loving citizens! Bullshit! To undertake most of their policies they’d have to break many laws and revoke the rights of certain people who aint white and straight. If you are going to vote for a party where most of the leadership, who am I kidding, ALL of the leadership idolize Adolf Hitler and Oswald Mosley and still think you’re going to get freedom and fairness in return, then you deserve to be taken for a ride! Why are they wankers? Well they’re Nazis, they’ll deny it till the cows come home because they want to attract more of the voting population, they wont make things any better in this country.
The guys and gals who thought it was a great idea to take advantage of Bill Clinton’s deregulation of the US financial system in 1999, and give people loans who can’t afford to pay them back. Then get all those bad loans and lump them in to a big package of loans where the negative loans would be canceled out by the majority of good loans and then trade them world-wide! You all truly are a credit to human kind, the way you wiped trillions of pounds of the world economy and made people jobless, lose their homes, livelihoods and savings was the pinnacle of human achievement in recent times! Well done you smart bastards ye, you truly are the greatest generation!
The Conservative (Tory) Party. You have been nothing but a Joke since the mid 80’s really and rendered obsolete by New Labour who have played you at your own game. Just give up and stop annoying me by having photo ops with David Cameron acting like Tony Blair. It’s just painful! The two main faces of popularity you have are Anne Widecomb and Boris “the fool” Johnson, when they are your main faces you may as will give up and just join the BNP.
That’s all for today, if you can think of any bigger wankers then tell me, I’ll add them to the list! By the way, you can’t add me to the list before any smart arse starts saying I belong on it. Why? Because I’m a tosser!
Suggestion by Chris: Local councils and officers. Not content with earning 2% of their income illegally, they are always making cock-ups in their calculations. Over paying this, over paying that and then demanding the over payment which was their fault of YOU!. Not collecting bins on time, not making repairs on time etc etc… the list is endless! How could we forget these lot?
Suggestion by Pete: AOL. The internet provider, like all net providers, insists on saving money by sighting their help and technical support centres in India somewhere! The people they higher then proceed to tell you in broken english to go out and buy a new keyboard, mouse, router, filter (in my case) when the cause of it was unrelated to none of that. Or in Pete’s case, un-plugging literally everything connected to the PC when he had a connection problem that seems to be pretty much their service or a simple set of sockets? So yeh, AOL, wankers indeed… oh and BT!

12 Responses to “Wankers Of The Decade (so far)!”

  1. jiggy said

    lol i wont start coz i wont end lol

  2. Gena said

    hello mate!!I\’m here, how are you??…hopw all is well, catch you later, bye

  3. Prenin said

    I had to stop and re-read this epistle – and I STILL Agree with all of it!
    One item to note though: Why leave the US army in reach of every dickhead \’I can\’t get a wife so I\’ll blow myself up for 72 virgins\’?
    Simple: Which is better?
    a) Leave the most heavily armed force in the world to get shot at so they can blow away the dickheads?
    b) leave the dickheads to travel to America to blow up voters???
    By putting the armed forces in Iraq they are drawing the dickheads to the point of the spear and martyring them in impressive numbers while leaving the Muslim population of Iraq to blow the shit out of each other, so reducing them to managable numbers for the retread Iraqi Police and Army (heavily infiltrated by the militia of Moqudata Al Sadre) to control.
    When the allies finally leave Iraq, they\’ll be leaving the Iraqi Army and Police in a controlling position, not the ineffectual Iraqi Government.
    But as long as the oil keeps flowing who\’s going to give a damn???
    Best Wishes mate!

  4. Pete said

    I have read your wankers of the decade and to be truthful, I cannot find anythign I disagree with in any way shape or form. Governments will always be high on these lists because they are what they are, a nepatistic quango where some serious \’fagging\’ at Eton given you a fighting chance. Our MP is one James Purnell, I know I have written a couple of good things about him I cannot ignore the fact he is not from Hyde, lives in Hyde or really and truly does have the best interests of the people of Hyde at heart.
    Here are one or two you seem to have overlooked.
    I really wish i could be clever and add a few points but I really can\’t think of much else, let alone wankers, to add to your already exhausitve list – well except one perhaps…
    Big companies that take their customers for granted – AOL for example. Here\’s the funny thing Phil, I have spent hours on the phone with people in India, trying to resolve a connection problem i have had since I upgraded to 8meg broadband. I have spoken to countless people, tried untold amount of tests and checks as instructed by said countless people. Been told it is my telephone equipment, my computer, the router, the sockets, the adsl filters, the LAN sockets – you name it, it\’s been tried and tried again. I have complained twice in writing and await the result of my latest attempt to be released from this contract without financial penalty or hassle because I have simply had enough and guess what, i think I have found what cuases the problem and how to resolve it and technical expert I am not.
    The problem is simple. Every so often I fail to get a connection yet all the outward signs are I should have one. I used to plug in my computer, printer and router all on one bank-of-4 plug socket. But I moved the plug for the router to a socket on it\’s own so i could plug somethign else in and noticed, if I switch on the router first and then the rest of the equipment, i get a connection each and every time, but when everything came on together when they were on the bank of 4, it was a bit hit and miss………surwely it wasn\’t something that simple?
    So to the \’wankers of the decade\’ list i add AOL
    Take care and love to you and the family

  5. ... Angelwitch said

    Heya mate :)Well it\’s good to know there are some peps my age out there who know about their family history.i drew a blank asking my parents which is scary in a way but i\’ll ask my grandparents…i\’m sure my Granddad at least will know, but he\’s deaf as a post and won\’t use the phone anymore so it\’ll be a trek to deepest Surrey coming up for that haha.I forgot about that blasted flu…as if the war wasn\’t enough without that right on top as well.haha, never thought of yoga that way, but yeah i\’ve given it up now, my back still isn\’t right after the last time but i know there\’s sweet fa the docs can do about it apart from load me up with bloody meds.hope you\’re having a good day matexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-C-x

  6. ✿Livvy said

    Hi Phil! Thanks for your comment the other day! Glad to hear you\’ve enjoyed looking at those pictures I took at The Temple of Heaven in Beijing!  In fact, it\’s one of my favorite ancient sites in BJ, and also the symbol of the City.  If you happened to visit China one day, this is definitely the place you don\’t wanna miss out for it\’s such a beauty and art on its own. I\’ve just uploaded some more pictures in the second part on "Temple of Heaven." Just to answer your question, the Temple is not part of the Forbidden City, but a site by itself.  It was a sacred place in the ancient times, and used as an alter for ceremony.  Each year around the winter time, the Chinese emperor came to here and pray for good harvest and abundant rainfalls in the coming year. It was a very formal and holy ceremony.  Beijing is definitely a city filled with culture and interesting sites…welcome to BJ someday^ ^!

  7. Sarah said

    you\’re not a tosser … so don\’t try and pretend you are …I\’m not so sure if Obama … will be a waste of space…. You can say he\’s a waste of space Phil simply on the fact he\’s a politician … but you can\’t turn everything into a no… well you can if you want … but then in the end .. you just can\’t be bovvered to fo anyfink … I know \’cos I\’m almost there…Take care… this is the first time I\’ve been on here for 2 weeks .. I\’ll leave by the back door as I don\’t wanna have to do a blog .. I\’m on the move going nowhere…,Hope the U.C. is tolerable…Have a great weekend…as much as you can with U.C…. and a ((((HUG)))),Lotsa Love Sarah xxxx

  8. ... Angelwitch said

    Heya Mate   :)Trust me, i\’m never doing yoga again, it\’s 3 days and i\’m still having trouble with it,mind, i\’m not taking any painkillers for it, they never have any effect on me anyway.it\’s been quiet on the fireworks front until last night, I mean, apart from the local display last weekendi\’ve hardly heard anything apart from yesterday, which sounded like downtown Baghdad, much to the parrot\’s displeasure,she hates fireworks, they catch her off guard which means we\’re usually picking her up off of the telly lol.Thats pretty much what i\’ve said about criminals, make sure they\’re fed and watered, and that the guards dont abuse them but that aside they have no rights apart from that of a fair trial of course.I was going to suggest adding those who started off WWI and by virtue WWII but then i remembered it was wankers of this decade and not wankers of all time.Actually wait a minute, Councils, they can go on the list…i heard on the local news Canterbury City council are trying to plug a 6 million quid gap in their finances from losing money on the Iclandic banks by partly putting up the council tax on a band D property by £8 for next year so i\’m guessing the others will folow siut and if that\’s the case i\’d be tempted to nick a few bits of council property and sell them on Ebay to redress the balance lol..And on that tought i\’m off for the morning.take it easy matexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-C-x

  9. Prenin said

    Ooh! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o>
    All absolutely true!!! :o(
    Thanks for visiting my friend – and the appreciation! :o)
    The sad irony is that things around here are as good as they are because a bunch of OAP\’s and a mental defective cared more for their community that their community did of each other!!!
    It\’s not entirely over though – now we pick OUR battlegrounds…
    Everything today was wonderful – I\’ll post it tomorrow – and very scary, so I was unable to manage breakfast and stank of fear as I had a complete reinstall to do (NEVER leave CD\’s in direct sunlight!!!) and now I have a bunch of stuff I have to reinstall off the web tomorrow, but essentially I\’m cooking with Gas (Ooh! Them Bean Curries!!!!)
    God Bless and be well!

  10. ... Angelwitch said

    Heya mate :)I was laughing my head off with your proposals for the chavs…it\’d work briliant here, i can take them to the end of the road and then it\’s straight down the hill into the River Medway.I\’m no fan of this human rights nonsense that\’s plaging the country today but i don\’t doubt that without that legislation being brought in the age of consent being equalised for homosexuals, their rights in the work place and their right to a civil partnership and some legal recognition for their relationships (next of kin and so on)  wouldn\’t have come to pass.It was a good idea in theory but judges for the most part these days can\’t be trusted with a teaspoon, never mind having the balls to stand up and say to the criminal that they lost their human rights the moment they decided to commit a crime and that\’s what\’s gone and tainted it in my eyes.well that\’s my two pence on things for now anyway.good to see you up and ranting againtake it easy matexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-C-x

  11. penny said

    Hiya Phil.  That was the best read I\’ve had in ages.  I agree with all you wrote but you wrote it in such an entertaining way that I found myself crying with laughter.  Well done that man!  Pen.

  12. Robin said

    well what can one say it\’s not a bad list, needless to say that I agree with most of them but not your….shall we say not  your version of events in question. I found it funny although the tone was meant to have a serious message it\’s a good read and as for calling your self a tosser i can think of one person who would call you that. The one and only Mosh on the BNP section, and yes me for calling my mate Tony a wanker.
    Talk later bud TTFN

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