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Let’s Build Something Useful

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on May 30, 2011

I was replying to Pete on my blog last week and it came to me that we need some kind of plan to turn our situations around in life. I suggest an invention, an invention that will be useful in someway and earn us £billions!

So, here’s how it goes, you leave suggestions for additions to this invention, past, present or future, invent your own to add to it. Anything goes basically… Anything! Yes, not strictly an invention but more of an amalgamation of inventions from reality and our twisted, warped little minds! You can leave pictures as my comment box is HTML active, or you could leave the ideas in written form and I’ll find the bits and pieces you mention myself, but it would be nice to have pictures.

I’ll leave this blog open untill Sunday, when all your suggestions are in I will make a picture of our new super-duper invention that will change the world!

I’ll start…

It has to have wheels for driving on land, huge wheels, like this…

For crushing our enemies. And because we’ll have so many enemies, we need a plasma cannon for defence. Like this one but bigger…

You may think “How are we going to sell this thing if we have so many enemies?”. Well, can you imagine the arms manufactures and the Oil monopolies when we put them out of business? So, we crush them if they attack us, which they will, then we sell our invention, once it’s complete!

If they attack us before the invention is complete we will send the army out that will consist of Daf armed with a plastic fork on a long stick… and that’s it (Sorry Daf, we need all the supplies we can, can’t spare any guns or stuff). Ian and the Goth twins, Andro and Jen, will be suicide bombers (Don’t complain, you’ll have a quicker death than Daf.), as will Sam, if he can be bothered to turn up. Remember, you’re all expendable, except for me, and to a lesser extent, Pete. But if the time comes Pete, you’ll have to sacrifice yourself for the good of the project! I know you’ll understand! Oh, and Mags Moo can make the tea, but if the worse comes to the worse you’ll have to back Pete up Mags.

Let the ideas flow!

35 Responses to “Let’s Build Something Useful”

  1. jennyozzy said

    i think this tank should have a bull tied to it because all mps are bullshitters so we can spray a few mouthfuls back and anyway its a good source of food on the hoof lol xxjen

    • You should’ve told me earlier, Jen. I just posted the complete machine! Still, twas a good idea, but we can pretend there’s a zombie bull inside that shits bullets, but only at Politicians! haha

      Thanks for the ideas, Jen! :O) x

  2. OK, I’ve tried to follow the threads but got largely distracted by Shakira shaking her ass……not really in much of an inventing mood to be honest, unless it was something that could accurately predict the lotto numbers and get me the fuck away from everything I despise…..well it probably need wheels so we are on our way!!

    Yeah, not a fan of holiday parks but they serve a purpose – one you can only really understand when you have kids. I only go because like I said it’s me brothers caravan and it is a really good one too, large, spacious and clean – it is cheap, I only pay a nominal sum to put towards the bills and it isn’t too far to drive to. But once I get there I would much rather be somewhere else……

    Hope all is well with you and yours…..I’m OK, plodding on as you do

    Take care


    • Mate! It travels through time and space thanks to Daff’s transporter! I’m sure it could get you next Saturday’s lottery numbers! lol I named it after you, seeing as you was the inspiration for it! Hope you don’t mind, mate. ;O)

      All I can say about holiday parks is that I’m glad I don’t have to go to any. Maybe you should consider Cornwall again? You seemed to like it down there more than this holiday park. Then again, you probably already thought this through anyway, otherwise you wouldn’t be going to the Holiday park.

      Anyway, hope all is well with you too, Pete! Have a good week! :O)

  3. hrhdaf said

    Heeeeeeeey Phil!
    Well first I would say Im not a team player so Im gonna invent a transporter (which is something I want to do anyway) for your tampon tank to go through so you just end up anywhere you want. And in the spirit of free enterprise Ill only charge you a glass of wine per use (which seems fair to me) oh and you do have to sign a disclaimer so if you come out the other end part tank, part man and part string there’s not suing the man (in this scenario I am DA MAN by the way). Also if I do contribute anything to your tank itll be to cover it in star stickers and stick in a meaaan stereo system.
    Thank you for your time and consideration. ;O)

    Moocho love Daf xxx

    • Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Dafski!

      Nah, I’m nicking your idea, I’ve just invented a portable transporter that can take the machine anywhere in time or space, except inside a black and Anne Widecombe’s bathroom! Those coordinates will be locked out of the navigationa computer.

      However, you can give me some of your wine to fule the transport, it’s only fair seeing as you’ll be using it to go joy riding in now and again. You will also be decorating, but only the transport system you mentioned, that’s it, we don’t this thing girled up. You may also pimp it out with a mint stereo system if you please!

      Your ideas have been taken and submitted in a limited form. Thank you!

      Moocho love back at ya mate! :O) xxx

  4. glennbeckstears said

    Rocket launcher that launches used tampons and/or aborted fetuses.

  5. Does this thing have brakes. lol

    • You know what?.. it didn’t… but NOW it does! YAY! We now have breaks, thank you for your idea kind Sir! If you know of any good breaking systems please post a link to one. :O)

      • Androgoth said

        How about a hammer and a
        chisel, will that help? lol

        Androgoth ; )

        • Hmmmmm *scratchs chin*. Um, I suppose it would, but they’re mostly tools. Was thinking more of parts that would be an addition to the project.

          Like a hollowgram of Anne Widecombe to scare away vandals and potential theives. I would post a pic to show you her, but I think it’d scare people away! haha ;O)

  6. jennyozzy said

  7. jennyozzy said

    well this was a goth girl lol to send them into a daze while the attacks on hmm didnt work

    • Jen! Tis all good, just post the link instead of the picture!

      WordPress doesn’t allow other people to post things here by other people. Rest assured, I will be sending them a e-mail to demand this service!

      Looking forward to your ideas! :O)

  8. Androgoth said

  9. Androgoth said

  10. Androgoth said

    Hmm.. The HTML didn’t take hold for some reason… lol
    Never Mind You Would Have Liked The Mistress Graphic,
    But Now You Will Just Have To Use Your Imagination lol

    Androgoth ; )

    • Yeh, I learned that people can post videos, polls and twitter feeds in to comment boxes, but not pictures – unless they blog owner is doing it. What’s up with that? Seems a little backward to be.

      Still, just because you can’t post the pic, doesn’t mean you can’t post the link to the pic! So, post away with your ideas, Andro! Looking forward to seeing that pic. May use it as logo for it or something! lol

  11. Androgoth said

    Well every invention needs a Mistress of the Dark (Sorry No Elvira On This Trip So Hard Lines… lol)

    Androgoth ; )

    • I like it! Post a link! 😀

      • Androgoth said

        Okay Capt I will get on to it straight away…
        Nooooooooooooooooooo… The Link I meant lol

        Still it’s an idea that you can try out later,
        perhaps while she is changing… A Lady Werewolf
        is said to be ghoulishly depraved under the sheets…

        Mind you after saying that nobody has ever lived
        long enough to say how depraved so good luck

        Androgoth ; )

        Have Hooooooooooooooooooowling great evening

        Androgoth ; )

        • If it was Shakira doing her werewolf thing under the sheets I wouldn’t complain!

          shakira Pictures, Images and Photos

          :OD I’m sure I’d survive her attack!

          Have a good day, Andro! 🙂

          • Androgoth said

            Yes well she was facing towards
            you, and completely starkers…
            But I guess she has a nice R’s
            for your ghoulishly inventive
            thoughts… That guitarist is
            enjoying the Hump anyway…

            It must be a Guitar Fetish?

            Androgoth ; )

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