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Misleading Female Propaganda! Am I Right, Men?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on June 20, 2011

I came across this list on my ISP’s home page. They have a deal going with a popular on-line dating site, so occasionally these ads will pop up and I read them for a laugh. This time it took the biscuit. My answers are in green! 
 
12 Things women wish men knew about them

1. We’re not money motivated
We really don’t care if you’re minted or work down the local chippy. What matters to us is that you’re a decent guy who treats us well and who has the drive and ambition to make something of himself.

Rubbish! While this may be true for some women, a lot of the women I know don’t want anything to do with a man if he hasn’t got some dosh in his pocket or can’t provide for her.

2. We hate it when you don’t put the toilet seat down
You probably think we’re making too much of it, but if the seats not down when we want to use the bathroom at night, things can get pretty ugly. Take note.

Is this really a problem? I’ve never heard a woman moan about the seat being up, but have moaned about it being down, because that’s when it get’s full of piss from lazy men!

3. We don’t fancy our male friends
Okay so some of our best mates happen to be chaps, but you really haven’t got anything to worry about. If we fancied them we would have dated them years ago. It’s platonic so deal with it.

Yeh, but it’s all different when men have female friends, it can’t be platonic then, because men only think about one thing… apparently!

4. We hate being lied to
Even seemingly harmless deception will arouse our suspicions. We’d always prefer to hear the truth than be told a lie even a white one. And for the record being cheated on is way worse than being dumped.

Load of crap! Women LOVE to be lied to! Female:  “Does my bum look big in this?” Male: *Yeh, it does, but best say it doesn’t or she’ll bollock me and we’ll never get to the party* “No, looks fine, babe!” Not only do they lie to themselves they self-delude too! They know their arse looks big, but she and her girl friends delude themselves in to thinking otherwise. Is the man the only one who knows it does looks huge?

5. We can tell when you’re checking out other women
You may think you’re being super subtle but we can always tell when you’re admiring another female. And guess what, we’re fine with it. Just as long as you don’t act on your impulse.

Yeh, some are alright with it others get super jealous and cause a scene, followed by a night of sobbing and saying: “Am I not good enough for him? All men are pigs!” *all her friends agree*

6. Kissing on the first date is fine
If the date has gone well, don’t feel you have to wait three days to call. Act on your impulse. We’re more than capable of letting you know if it’s not okay.

I never knew this! How are we supposed to know! We cant read minds.Why don’t you let us know before we make an arse of ourselves?
 
7. We like a bit of chivalry
Don’t be afraid to hold open a door for us or pull our chair out for us at dinner.  Of course we’re capable of doing it ourselves, but it’s possible to appreciate a bit of good old fashioned chivalry without encroaching on our feminist sensibilities.
 
Is that so?

8. We don’t expect you to pay for everything
If you’ve asked us out ,it’s customary to pay for the first date, but we’re more than happy to split the bill after that. No woman wants to bankrupt her man and most of us like to assert our independence from time to time too.

LOL!!!!!!!! Some do, some don’t. Some women like to be independent and pay their own way, others are more than happy to let him pay.

9. We hate it when you say you’ll call and then don’t
Don’t treat us like babies. If you’re no intention of seeing us again, then tell us to our face. Saying you’ll call and then not is just mean. And unless you’ve got a very good excuse you won’t get a second chance.

Yeh, but if we call up too quickly you think we’re “Too keen.” and “Desperate”, which puts the ladies off.

10.  You look extra sexy when you’re holding a baby
Sorry, it’s in our genes. A bloke with a baby scores serious points with us.

I’ve heard this before and seen it happen for myself!

11. We prefer brains over braun
You don’t have to have a gym honed bod for us to like you. We’re interested in what’s going on up top. But don’t use that as an excuse. Ideally we like a bit of both.

Nah, bollocks. Most women love a sexy, toned man, if he had brains too then that would be a bonus. However, a lot of women wouldn’t go out with an intelligent man with not so good looks.

12.  We need to hear how you feel about us often
It’s our Achilles heel. We not only need to hear you say how you feel about us on a regular basis, but you need to show it too. Romantic gestures and little surprises mean a lot.

Again, different women different choices. But again, I’ve heard women say a man was: “Too nice!”

Obviously these were generalisations on behalf of all women, but it made me laugh and I had to share my thoughts on it. What’s you thoughts? Ladies, are you really that bothered about the seat being up? Is the list above what you think of men? Men, is my list what you think of ladies?

Tell me honestly,  does my bum look big in this?

The Above Picture Is Not Mine

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25 Responses to “Misleading Female Propaganda! Am I Right, Men?”

  1. hrhdaf said

    PS that just posted in totally the wrong place so there is no comment above it but honestly thats what was there when I was typing!
    Moocho luv xxx

  2. hrhdaf said

    Bugger! Having read this and all the comments Im beginning to seriously doubt my credentials as a woman. Cos honestly… are women and men reeeeeally this different? I think personally the only real general difference Ive ever found is that men like you to say exactly what you mean and not beat about the bush cos theyre not as good at getting hints (and Im not saying thats a bad thing). Personally I like people (not just men any people) that are honest with me. Then again I have never asked anyone if my bum looks big in anything cos I know it doesnt ha haaaaa!
    As for money I can hold my own thank ya so I dont need a bloke to buy me, Ive always gone Dutch and I look at people a bit oddly that dont expect to. Id rather blokes were funny and intelligent than rich. I was out a while back and this bloke was coming onto me and yeah the woman I was with just kept saying ‘he’s dead rich’ like that negated the fact he was a twat!
    Anyway I think my point is that you cant possibly generalise about either of the sexes and what one person wants another doesnt.
    And I just got totally distracted cos I noticed the end of the comment above this says well done on the constipation.
    I think Ill get me coat ;O)

    Hope your having a spiffy night amigo!
    Hugs Daf xxx

    • I’ll just come out and say it… the majority of men and women are idiots! hahaha I think that covers things for me. Yes, not everyone fits in to the generalised catergories, but I think a lot of people do because they follow what’s ‘normal’ in their environment. So they act like a typical man/women would in that area.

      What you said about the rich man who’s a twat reminds me of what a man tried with my mam years ago. Basically the boss of where she worked was loaded and good looking, and her co-worker said she should go for him, obviously that didn’t make a difference to my Mam because she could tell who the pricks are after going out with a few prior to meeting my Dad who she turned down the big boss for. He co-worker called her “Mad”. lol

      Hugs for tha daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaf! xxx

  3. OK, my turn…..
    1. Bollocks! Fair enough, not all women are money motivated but it helps. I was in manchester last Saturday and as I was heading home the trains pulling in were full of women – orange women – out looking to bag a bloke and I am sure if you had asked any one of the, a rich bloke would do nicely. If I was single, I’d put money pretty high on the wish list…..women are no different.
    2. They do hate it….only because it exposes how crap they are at cleaning
    3. Yeah….and male/female freinds having a drunken shag never happens does it?
    4. They don’t like being lied to….true – but sometimes they like the truth even less….
    5. I don’t care whether they know or not. Mrs J nudges me when I am checking out other women and I just remind her that I am married, not dead……oh, and it’s OK when she checks the guys out.
    6. I suppose it depends on which part of the woman you want to kiss……
    7. I am a polite, well mannered gentleman and always chivelrous – not an issue with me.
    8. This is always a bot of a contentious issue but then i haven’t dated anyone for about a thousand years so it could be different but in my time, there sstill was an expectation the guy would foot the bill.
    9. I refer to my ealier point….they hate it even more when you say you are not going to call.
    10. Extra sexy. Yes there is something beautiful about it buw sexy……nah.
    11. I don’t think the brains over brawn thing is that much of an issue – I think it is more the good guy/bad guy thing. There are some women who are inexplicably attracted the bad guy, the loser, the scum bag and I know so many, seemingly sensible, smart women who throw it all away for these pricks….makes no sense to me whatsoever
    12. Yes, women do need to hear it too much. I am very mean with my compliments because I think if you say something too much, it loses its impact and any how…..it’s not what you say, it’s what you do that matters…

    I’ll go for a lie down now…

    Pete

    • I almost missed this one! I think WordPress needs to show more than just five comments on the dashboard.

      I agree with the ‘good guy, bad guy’ piece! The list didn’t put it like that though, which again, shows how a little bit misleading this post was. Women who makes these lists always try to make the ladies out to be in the right and know what they want. So they wouldn’t include that bit about women liking wankstains.

      Depends which part you want to kiss? Well, if it was this loverly lady

      I think I know where I’d be kissing! Am I right Mr. Judge?

      Hope all’s well today for you, Pete! :O)

  4. This is my opinion (it’s sort of epic lol)
    I will tell you right now everything you need to know about chicks
    (the facts.. And nothing but the facts!) 
    You were quite close to being spot on with your answers.

    1)Women like to feel secure; so things which make her feel secure are going to  win you extra kudos. That’s why you see women with older men – because they like to be treated by the bf’s like their old man would treat them – Like a little princess… And a little girl. Aww 🙂 Of course, no woman is gonna admit that. But it’s true! I suppose it’s why men choose to go out with girls that remind them of their mum? Ever had a girlfriend that had attributes that reminded you of your mother??? (scary Innit?!) 

    2)Don’t listen to women who tell you size doesn’t matter – it does! You’ll never, ever, everrrr, hear a woman echo the words ‘ah, but he had the most gorgeous cute little dick’ it just does not happen. It would never be said.
    I know plenty of girls that have actually sobbed after sleeping with someone with a small penis (more so if that’s all there is on the menu :S
     And thin one’s? Oh dear. Worse still, Small..thin one’s! Ugh *bang!* 
    Any kind of disfunctions in that area (if we like you) are either going to be a mini challenge for us (like a Rubik’s  cube) or just a good excuse for us to get away with not having sex with you. It’s not something men should worry about, either. Just take a Viagra or don’t. Problem sorted. And don’t worry about premature ejaculation either. The faster we have you off us the better! We just want your money, honey. 
    (Oh, and of course the expensive honeymoon, too!)

    3) “Fair heart never won fair lady!”
    Seriously where are the men? Where?! It’s amazing how battles have been won when there are so many pathetic little men out there today. Why can’t men just be that little less wimpy and less fearless? Confident men are truly prized and sort after. Confidence is sexy! You can pull anything off when you’re confident about it……. Anything 😉

    4)We like being in nice cars. And you, taking us out in them! But if you’re confident in a less than expensive car – we like that too. It’s how you work and own it which really impresses us. In fact, we enjoy watching you doing testosterone fuelled activities. Especially when you show off a little bit. Example, I never watch it, but I saw two minutes of Coronation Street last night and there was a bloke in it playing about with a football (he owned that ball!) put it this way, I will definitely be watching the next instalment! 

    We like expensive gifts, surprise presents…We like to be loved, persued, appreciated.. adored.
    We’re not bothered if you’re fat, thin, or even gay! Just as long as you are wealthy, make us happy and laugh. 😀 Thinning hair doesn’t phase us either.  Aesthetically there’s not many things that does put us off – like spotty faces etc. In fact, we can’t see you..(where are you??!) We’re not visual creatures. We see only with our ears. So rattle some loose change or rustle some notes.. That way we can see you better!! [Words excite us.]

    4 n a bit) Money (sadly) will always be on our agenda (apart from getting our own way, of course!)  Just like scoring is to you. Actually, I suppose money is the modern day equivalent to someone bringing us home a leg of bison. And I know men say that they like it when women pay (or go Dutch) But I’m not buying that. No, seriously, I’m not buying that. 
    YOU CAN!
     Women who pursue men are just setting themselves up to heartache. Women who put to, are just putting their man off. The chase, possibly, is one of the last things you own in this modern day world – we shouldn’t be taking that from you – it’s your God given right to hunt. Contrary to all that though, love out wins money (and everything else) any day of the week.

    5) Toilet seats SHOULD be put down. And by that, I don’t mean the lid. That can stay up, but you can seriously hurt your arse sitting on that open toilet! 😦
    PUT IT DOWN, PLEEEASE!! …and don’t pee on the floor either (gross)

    6)Kissing or anything else intimate on a first date apart from… a friendly night or day time date, is totally out of order. Don’t do it.. Even if you can’t resist. Try not! A kiss on the cheek is more than adequate. Unless… it’s another sort of meeting where you don’t ever intend to see each other again.Then you can probably get away with asking for a Bj (but don’t ask me..or do! If you’re minted lol)

    7)Men holding babies is sexy? Really??
     Nah, I just think women like to see someone else holding the kid while they look for shoes.. (but that’s just my view.. I’m not into babies.. Or men holding babies.) Funnily enough, one guy I know gets hit on big time for showing  pictures of him with his kids :S women? Daftest things going! 

    8) There’s a Family Guy episode where Peter tells Chris that girls liked to be treated bad – Funnily enough, in reality, it does actually work (but not with me!) Have a go.. Try it! lol 
    Some women just love to be treated like a dog, literally.. like a dog. It’s all kinda ‘master and slave’ role play.. Give her some hoops to jump through – sit back and enjoy!
    Be warned though: Too much hoop throwing and you get the reverse effect. And the effects only last for so long before we inevitably get you back.. dump you… And we will! Oh yes. 

    9) If another man comes along who does all these things better than you, then we’re off. Simple as. We’re like monkeys. We only let go of one branch when we can safely latch on to another! Women ARE truly high maintenance, I admit.. but really none so more than men are. And I never knew until recently just how much you gossiped :O God, can you men talk.. Rattle, rattle, rattle.

    10)And last but not least. This goes out to either party.. Honesty is a rare quality these days, so use it – it’s classy.
    A little white lie is fair enough but, 
    No one likes to be lied to. 😦 

    *All views are expressed solely on my own experience, should be taken with a pinch of salt, and they do not represent the views of all women on a whole (because not all women are the same.. some are men! lol) 

    • Hiya Nicola,

      I think this–> “women? Daftest things going!” sums up your post and all women! lol

      I think I will take your post with a huge heaping bowl of salt lol. However, everything you said on there will apply to some women, everywhere.

      Oh look, you created a new internet meme, Nicola–>

      Photobucket

      LOL! I just had to do that, that quote was too priceless.

      The toilet seat! You serious? Sitting on the toilet with no seat is uncomfortable? Nah it aint, it doesn’t feel good but you could still go. Assuming you’re not taking the piss here! lol

      Honesty? I know a man who was nothing but honest with his girlfriend, she cheated on him, not only did she cheat on him she prefers a lieing boyfriend over an honest one as her new bf is a huge liar and a cheat, yet she accepts it. Obviously this kind of behaviour isn’t just confined to women, but it does happen mostly with women for some reason.

      Thanks for your opinion on the subject, Nicola. Twas an entertaining read! :O)

      • Planet Nicola said

        Well that’s my point, really that some “daft women” like to be treated a bit rough (and it’s actually the cleverest women too who tend to do this)
        What a strange cooncidence – I can’t believe you have that picture! I found that a few months ago and laughed my socks off about the answer.. Elephant! Obviously she was thinking about the size of her own arse! I had to save it.
        I like your photoshopping work on this – very well done. 😀 rofl must have taken you ages?

        As I was saying…
        I don’t know anything about politics, I’m afraid (or women infact.. mainly that they’re daft) but I do know about little kittens. Ah, They’re so soft…and furry – I must be away now.. to stroke one. lol

        Cheerio, old chap

        • I’ve noticed more daft women being treated like shit than smart, but you’re right, the so called clever ones still fall for it. And I still have no idea why they do it, it’s an even bigger mistery when they’re intelligent!

          I think this pic sums up my thoughts on the subject:

          Photobucket

          Nah, I think the key could be low self-esteem, but that still wouldn’t explain some of the confident and intelligent ones going for wank stains.

          The writing on pictures doesn’t take long at all, takes even less time if you don’t proof read! The hardest part was finding the picture. The other shops that involve pictures are a little different, they can take 10 to 15 mins to make, even longer if it’s a big picture with a few layers. I find it satisfing though.

          Yes, I’m sure you’re great at stroking kittens, you should stay away from Politics, look what happened last time we had a female Primeminister? Nuff said! lol 😉

          Have a good evening, Nicola! :O) x

          • Planet Nicola said

            Haha… But
            … What’s that boat doing parked underneath my car??!

            And why’s that woman just stood there like a twat?! She isn’t helping the situation much. I’d say she was just standing there looking pretty but… she isn’t doing that either!

            • LOL! I thought the same thing. I don’t think she’s the boat owner or the car driver, she couldn’t possibly be! If she was she’d have to be lobotomised to be happy about what just happened to her car or boat. Maybe she’s just a passing tourist or something, if she aint, then she’s an idiot as well as not looking so pretty!

  5. jennyozzy said

    right lol i dont know about other women but this is my thoughts here goes yes its great if a man has money but if you love someone it should be for how he treats a woman and how you treat him so money matters but not first on the list toilet seat couldnt care less but pee on the floor and id hate that men friends like men having women friends yes a prob there lol hate being lied too and would hate a cheat once cheated on and its the big boot lol i agree women do say about their bum and they do cause a fus if you say yes it is lol so you def inately can t win there men can t help if goodies are on show but if stared to distraction id be one unhappy woman call or make arrangements on parting if you like each other if not id think thats it didnt like me and def kiss the first night your right on inteligence and looks a man to me can never be too nice and i like to be nice to him too hippo is hilarious lol and phil hmm does my bum look big in this lol xxjen great blog be nice to see other womens answers

    • Hey Jen,

      I know a few women who’ve said that money isn’t everything and it that it doesn’t matter to them. However, I’ve also heard the same women moan and shout about their man not having money for one reason or another. So I still think it is a factor in a relationship.

      You don’t mind the toilet seat being left up? LOL! I’ve never met a women who takes offence to it being up… ever! Where does this myth come from? Maybe it was started by one or two lazy women who were too lazy, or weak, to lift the seat up themselves! haha

      So, you have a problem with men having lady friends? But I bet you think it is OK for ladies to have man friends? Right? lol

      Everyone hates being lied too, but women seem to delude themselves on a number of things! From what really happened when a coupe fight about something that happened in the past, lieing, cheating, the size of their arse and almost everything else. Of course some women do this more than others.

      It’s wrong for men to look at women? Agian, I bet it’s all good when the ladies check the guys out, am I right? lol 😉

      Looks and intelligence? I would like to believe womens’ answers on this, that it doesn’t matter, but I know first hand, it aint true, and heard many women who say it is true, say the oposite. Or maybe that’s just the women around where I live? They all seem to like the shaven-headed, tattoed, violent scally been in prison type!

      Does your bum look big in this? Um, having not seen your bum I’ll stay on the side of caution and say it wont look nothing like the Rhino’s. However, I think Andro’s arse may look worse than the Rhino’s in knickers! hahaha :O)

      • Androgoth said

        How wickedly unjust my dear fellow…
        Not that I intend to prove otherwise of course! lol

        A very good blog this one Phil… Now where have I
        seen that Arse before? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh yes its that
        Anne Widecombe in disguise… lol

        Androgoth ; )

        • Hey Andro,

          You’re right, it was. But you’re also right in another way… it IS Anne Widders in disguise. Here’s the pic after she took the mask off.

          Photobucket

          Um, I think she’s talking to you, Andro. She also seems to be making eyes too! You should run, now, as fast as you can! lol 😉

  6. Anonymous said

    Fucking hilarious and true man, your comments put their generalizations to shame. “too nice” ah!, that one’s too true, lol. Women like men that are asses till they hit 30-40, that’s just how it is.

    • Obviously not all women are like this, but it’s safe to say a fair few are, I even know some who are! And yes, the “He was too, um… nice!” rubbish! Uh! What? They bitch and moan about having no GOOD and NICE men about, and when they get one they dump him for being too nice and then get with a complete douchebag! I personally know women who have done this and even admited they got with a wanker, then moan again when they cheat on them and say there’s no good men… again!

      Oh, and yes, hit 35 to 40 and some of them start to change, but you know what? I know women over 35 and in their late 40s who are still lusting after douchebags!

      Women, eh?

  7. prenin said

    OK Phil! Still chuckling here!!! 🙂

    Trouble is that it’s all true – especially the green bits!!! ROFL!!!

    As for my comment: Yeah I tend to trot out the angst occasionally – I’m past the hurt I guess – so thanks for putting up with me! 🙂

    Thanks for the kind words too – nice to know people care, even if my self esteem tells me I’m bottom of the shit pile! 🙂

    Good thinking about the money – I got so used to having good people around I forgot about the others…

    The diet is working, but slowly, so I find myself drooling at the sight of anything edible, but apart from that and the constant hunger from the meds I’m fine!

    Hope you have a great father’s day too Phil – and God Bless!!!

    Prenin.

    • Hiya Ian,

      So far we’ve only had Jen comment here, and her take on things are mixed, I don’t think she sees it like us! lol 😉

      No worries about your post, I understand that your past experences would make you feel bad/down on certain days. So it’s all good. As for being bottom of the pile… I think we both know the type of people who really resides there! :O)

      I’ve said it before, but what about drinking water to fill you up? And, to give you some taste suck on a toffee or two to fool your gut in to thinking you’ve had something sweet and substancial? Oh, btw, I don’t suggest sucking on a toffee and drinking water at the same time, bad idea! haha

      Glad you enjoyed the blog and hope today has been good for you. :O)

      • jennyozzy said

        definately dont see it like men do lol now would i but yes i like looking and being looked at so i guess im one of yr female s in that respect but i never like douchbags ever i think theres good men around well im talking to you lot arent i lol xxjen

        • Um, I think you’re somewhere in the middle Jen! haha You aint 100% like how they, or I , make out. As for the last part of the comment, hmmmmmmm maybe I was wrong with what I just said? hahaha 😉 x

      • prenin said

        Hi Phil! 🙂

        Thanks for the kind words – I’ve discovered that when I eat small meals I can keep the worst of the hunger at bay and if I take my pills before bed I can keep the induced hunger from the pills from stressing me out – I just sleep for 10 – 12 hours…

        I’m currently under attack from a virus worm: JS.Fbook.a which seems to attsck every time I close a blog page.

        Kaspersky is taking care of it, but be wary OK???

        God Bless!

        Prenin.

        • Hey Ian,

          Thanks for the heads up about the virus, I’ll keep an eye out ofr links it may post. If I find one in your posts I’ll ask if you posted it or that did.

          That’s a good plan! Unfortunately I couldn’t take my meds only at night because they need to work over the whole of the day, or I’ll lose the effectiveness of them. Tis good you can sleep 10 to 12 hours, my sleep is somewhat less at the moment! haha

          Hope that virus has been sorted and the day is a good one! :O)

          • prenin said

            Hi Phil! 🙂

            I contacted WP via the forums and found I wasn’t alone!

            WP scanned all the pages and came up clean and Kaspersky corrected the update glitch that was creating false alerts.

            I’ve tried it and everything is back to normal.

            Cured me and Emu of our constipation though… 🙂

            God Bless!

            Prenin.

            • Good to hear! So it seems it was an update problem with WP and Kaspersky conflicting? Hmmm I’m hoping WP will stay on top of glitches and not start adding code that hasn’t been properly tested! 😛

              Also, well done on the constipation! hahaha 😉

              Have a evening Ian! :O)

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