I Don't Fear The Chaos!

Questioning Everything and Everyone!

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Archive for the ‘Health and wellness’ Category

Gardenwatch

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on June 14, 2019

gardenwatch-logo-largeIf you’re anything like me you’ll enjoy some green space and the critters that come with it – especially if you live in an urban jungle.

Though what critters are actually out there, and what are they living in/on – and where? It’s known that the gardens of the UK collectively are the size of Suffolk when combined, but not what inhibits them and what resources are out there and what is taking advantage of them, especially as more countryside and natural habitat is being lost to human development.

This is why the BBC, The British Trust for Ornithology and the Open University are running their biggest ‘Citizen Science‘ project ever – Gardenwatch!

They’re basically asking you to take a few minutes to fill in the online form to tell them about what animals and plants are in this vast resource. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a garden, you could have a communal garden, a balcony, hanging baskets or be in a local park. What matters is that you record what you can and post, it’s as simple as that.

There are 4 missions (the following text is from the BBC website and I don’t claim to have written it or own it):

The Gardenwatch Missions

 

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Posted in Health and wellness, Marvelous Nature | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

UC Diary: The Ulcerative Colitis Kid Get’s a Sigmoidoscopy!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on March 31, 2019

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Listen to this guy, he knows what he’s talking about!

When you have Inflammatory Bowel Disease it’s routine to have a colonoscopy or Sigmoidoscopy, which are procedures where a camera is inserted in to your bowels to confirm the extent of your illness, or as a routine check-up to monitor progress and symptoms – to see if they’ve become worse lately.

In my case it was the latter. I’ve been having unsettled symptoms for some time, and yet the blood and Calprotectin tests – that look for signs of inflammation – have come back with only minor signs of inflammation. That basically means my Ulcerative Colitis was not considered active. The last few times when I had these tests done I didn’t see my regular IBD nurse (because of lack of staff during the ‘Winter Crisis’ we have each year), who would take me more seriously if I said I had symptoms, as she’s known me nearly 10 years and been a IBD nurse even longer.

So, long story short I saw her back in January of this year and explained my symptoms are more unsettled than usual, my UC has never fully gone into remission, so I’ve nearly always had symptoms to some degree. So she suggested I have a sigmoidoscopy, which is the investigation of the rectum, sigmoid colon and the descending colon (basically the bottom and left-hand side of the large colon). I was reluctant as preparing for the procedure can be annoying and the procedure itself can be uncomfortable. However, I wanted to see the true extent as the specialists had been saying I could have a case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which people with Ulcerative Colitis are prone to develop as the large colon will always be sensitive, regardless of remission.

It seemed plausible, the tests had showed very little inflammation and the symptoms could be explained by IBS which I had a predisposition to. So I accepted and was booked for the procedure a few weeks later.

Now, for those who are reading this that may be getting the procedure done, please don’t worry, read to the end.

Two days before you have the procedure done you have to take the bowel prep, which – I’m not gonna lie – tastes horrible! There is no need to go into details here as it does what it’s supposed to do, clears you out, apparently! The hardest thing about the bowel prep is not eating properly the day before, the way it sends you to the toilet are just like normal Ulcerative Colitis anyway. There’s nothing special to report about this part.

The fun started the morning of the sigmoidoscopy. I woke up early as I was due for the procedure at 10am. It’s a good that I did as I had a missed call from my sister who lives in the same building. Figuring it was for me to help her with my niece I rang her and found out the electricity had gone off to our whole block, the surrounding estate and even affected the traffic lights.  I’d just woken up and already traffic was worse than usual and I can’t even have a shower or a wash as everything in the block was recently moved to electricity, even the pump that moves water up to the taps. I thought, “It would have to happen today, wouldn’t it?”

My sister was planning to take my niece to day care but couldn’t as she lives on the top floor, and her boyfriend had already gone out to University. In light of the lifts being off she was going take a day off and look after her. So I said we don’t know how long things were going to be off for anyway, then told her to sort her stuff out and that’d I’d help her down the stairs then get to her car and she could take us to our Mother’s house. There was a bit of risk with that as physical stress can set the UC off at the best of times, having taken a powerful laxative and carrying a trolly and a bag full of assorted baby things down stairs had bad written all over it.

I got off the phone and ended up going to the toilet, as the laxative was still doing its job. After washing my hands in what felt like half a bottle of anti-bacterial gel – as there was no running water – I grabbed my toothbrush; spare pair of everything; toilet roll; wet wipes; medication, change for taxi and a few other bits, still feeling like I’d forgotten several things. As I went out the door I remember noting to myself that if there’s ever a long-term blackout again, or… god forbid… a zombie apocalypse, then sod all would work in my block.

Aaaanyway! After getting my sister and niece out the flat we walked down the staircase, passing other residents on the way, some going down and some coming up. On the way down I wondered if the carpark gate was open, so my sister said she’d check with security. Once we got to the bottom my sister joined a huddle of tenants and staff who were talking in the foyer to check if the gate was open. I thought she’d be there a moment, but as I turned back she was fully immersed in the huddle as I looked back from the end of the corridor. As I did that I ended up getting ambushed by neighbours and staff who wanted a chat, but my insides were turning over and I couldn’t muster much in way of conversation. So after a short chat I shouted to my sister “Time is the of essence!” And with that we were off to the carpark for the car, obviously my little niece didn’t want to go in back and played up – bless her cotton socks. She was put in the back anyway with me to keep her happy and calm and we were on our way.

With my insides still turning over, feeling like I may fill my kecks, we run into traffic before we even got out on to the main road. I thought “Fuck you Universe!” The roads around my block are jammed weekday mornings as it is, but with the traffic lights it was backed up so badly! The irony was our Mother’s house was a short 5 minute walk away; it took us 15 mins or more to get there, with bibbing horns and one car driving up on the walk way to get around!

After getting to our Mother’s my sister took my little niece to day care and I went in the house and checked if it was ok to have a shower. My Mam said yes, but she was about to get one first, I sighed, because I know my Mam can take ages in the bathroom! I noticed at this point my abdominal cramps and urgency pain had gone, so I sat down to watch a bit of TV. Cramps then came back without notice, as always, luckily for me (and my Mam!) she has a downstairs toilet!

After what felt like half an hour (though it was probably less) my Mam had finished and I got myself a shower and brushed my teeth. “Fuck yeah! I’m clean!” For those who don’t know, I like to be clean in general, but especially so as I have an IBD and taken a litre of powerful laxative.

So I went to get dried, took clothes and toiletries out and pulled my medication out by accident too – for the first time! “Fuck off Universe – just as I was feeling better!” Luckily I found them all, got dressed, sorted and went down stairs to see if my Mam was all ready to go (My Mam insists on coming with me to most IBD appointments for reasons I can’t go into here), which I sort of already knew the answer too. Got down and she wasn’t set to go! Using my inside voice I said “For the love of Satan’s balls!” I wouldn’t mind, but she does it every time.

During this time my sister had come back from day care and was waiting for the traffic to ease. While doing so she insisted on eating food in front me that she’d looted from ole Mother Hubbard’s cupboard! Pure. Evil. Doesn’t she know I’m starving?! I suspect she did. While she was relaxed and walling in her own crapulence I asked if she could take us to the hospital on her way into work. Apparently she goes a different way than the Hospital, which is same general direction as her work. If I could’ve slapped the Universe in the chops at that point I would’ve done.

Anyway, evil sister left and me and ole Mother Hubbard got in a taxi and headed for the hospital. As always, there was a problem… horrendous traffic – and I was already 5 minutes late. Then I started feeling ill and that nagging doubt I’d left something behind in the flat earlier returned. “Did I remember my bank card?” (For a snack afterwards!) So I started going through my backpack looking for my card, it was at this point I accidentally pulled out my medication for the second time! I spilled some of them on to the foot space… Lost forever! However, I managed to salvage the others! I then checked all my pockets but couldn’t find my bank card…  I was wound up, feeling ill and now sweating, which sometimes happens with UC. After checking my pockets several times I found my card in one of them, I can only assume that particular pocket is a TARDIS! When we got to the hospital I gave my Mam the money to pay for the cab, turns out there wasn’t enough there. I DID forget something, the other 50p! I’d have paid by card but Taxi firms seem to like living in the 1970s as far as payment is concerned.

As my Mam looked for some change from her purse I rushed into the hospital to book in and instantly went to the wrong floor! If I could’ve done I would have kicked the Universe in the bollocks at this point. I come here often enough, but the IBD investigations are not the same place IBD check-ups are done. In the end I found the right place and booked in, I could sit and relax! Nope!  I had to go to the toilet again. So I rushed to the door to where the toilet is… it’s got a code on it! The nurse tells me the number. Didn’t work! Tried it again… didn’t work! On the 3rd attempt it worked! Got in and in a rush to get my pants off, some more of my medication, which is now in my pocket – flung on the floor for the third time! Have you ever facepalmed on the toilet?

After being in the toilet for ages I came out and waited for another 15 mins and I was called in. They asked me questions they really should’ve known the answers to, but I answered. I was then given a gown and a pair of disposable boxer shorts with a flap at the back, for when the procedure’s done. I was waiting for a while in the recovery ward to be called in, during that time several people came out after having the procedures done and started farting in the beds next to me! It was at this point I realised there really is no God.

While I waited, listening to the sounds of the trumpets, I became thirsty, so I asked one of the 10 nurses busy rushing around for a glass of water; she said she’d get me one. I waited for another 15 minutes, and during that time she looked straight at me 3 or 4 times… I never got that drink of water, but she got an enemy for life that day!

Eventually I was called in and had the Sigmoidoscopy, without a pre-med, as I didn’t want to sit in the recovery ward and breathe in the unspeakable evil that was being emitted from my fellow patients. The procedure itself was the easiest part of the day, albeit uncomfortable, I liked chatting to the Doctor doing it and nurses who were joking with me. As it turns out my UC is active and more extensive than I thought – I assumed it was just going to be Proctitis at the least – but I have left-sided Colitis, which was no big surprise really. However, I felt vindicated after the specialist said I had IBS, I knew I was still ill, though that doesn’t explain why the tests they did didn’t come back positive for inflammation. I think someone done goofed in the lab.

The next step in my story got messy! As the probe looks at the colon wall it uses a little jet of water to wash bowel prep and waste away for a better picture. He must’ve used a lot because when he pulled the probe out the water and mess came with it! That’s never happened before! “I’m wet! Why am I wet?!” I said. The nurse replied “It’s ok, lie on your back”, No, I’m gonna roll in it” I said. I then asked if I could clean myself in the toilet next to the examination room as I wouldn’t have to walk past anyone. She was having none of it, she has to follow procedure. So I reluctantly tried to lie on my back as far away from the big wet patch as possible and get wheeled back to recovery and then rush to the toilet. I thought most of the nurses would be too busy to notice me going to the toilet, how fucking shocked was I when every nurse besides the one pushing me was stood right by the desk next to the toilet, right in front of my bed!

After I was parked up I thought I may as well get me losing my dignity out of the way, after all… I ain’t lying in that mess! So, with my left hand holding my gown on, which had come un-tied somehow, and holding my disposable boxer flap up right hand, I hobbled to the toilet with a mess running down my legs! I took a long time in that toilet cleaning myself, using wet wipes, anti-bacterial soap and toilet paper to clean myself – followed by a lot of anti-bacterial hand wash.

You. Have. No. Idea. The things, man… the things I’ve gone through in life! The indignity!

If you’re going to have one these procedures done, don’t worry… it’s not as bad as you think. The above was one of my worse days, the procedure itself wasn’t an issue, it was everything else going on that made it difficult. I’ve had this done before and it was very straight forward, with no issues or mess. I just wanted to write this to say there’s nothing to fear from having it done, after all… you couldn’t have a worse day than I did! If you have, leave a comment and let me know.

Posted in Health and wellness, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What Would You Do?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on February 7, 2019

Silhouette of hooded man or hooligan

My brother came over to my flat this evening, mainly to drop some paperwork off for me to take care of for him. In the end he ended up staying late and watching some of the first season of the new Star Trek series. I’d already seen it but I watched it with him anyway like we used to when I lived at home.

At some point during the mini binge-watch he got up to make a cuppa and I opened the window to get some fresh air. My block having recently been refurbished and having energy-saving insulation put in, it was getting warm in my flat with the two of us and the TV.

As I looked out I saw a car pull in and a dark hooded figure hiding behind a large Ford van in the guest car park, although I’m quite high up I could tell the figure was obviously a male by the way he moved. The car that came in parked in the main car park pretty much facing where the man was, but still had the headlights on. The man at this point was still hovering behind the van looking through the van windows at the car that just came in.

At first I thought it may be a resident avoiding another resident, after all I’ve seen it happen before, me being one of those doing the avoiding, though not to that extent. However, this person was lingering and crouching in the rain behind a van after 12am in a dimly lit car park. So my thought at this point was that the bloke hiding had been trying to get into a car when he was disturbed by the incoming car, and was waiting for the person to get out and go in to the block.

When I had that thought I noticed my sister’s car, who lives in the same block as me, was in the guest car park two spaces away from where the bloke was (some times residents park in the guest car park when the main resident one is full). Thinking of my sister’s car and everyone else’s in there I contacted security to let them know what was going on. They said they’d take a look on the CCTV.

I went back to the window and this hooded-bloke had started to ‘lurk’, and I mean that in every sense of the word. Crouching, peeping through the window and taking steps back beside the van then going back to the van windows to look through. The person in the car who came in was still sat in the car, I wondered if they’d seen this person and were to scared to get out.

Security rang me back and asked me if the person near the van had not just drove in. I explained that even if they had then why would he lurk where he was? He then asked me to call the Police because he couldn’t be sure if it wasn’t just a resident, “Me?!” I said out loud. “Yes” he said ” – as I can’t tell if it’s just a resident and I don’t want to call the Police out unnecessarily”. He said “Please do, if you think they’re needed!” It’s like he was pleading with me to ring the Police. I said “Well I’m not sure myself but I will, I’m going to have another look.” He said he’d go back to the CCTV.

I then went back to the window where my brother now was looking out. I picked up my phone off the window sill, on which I tried to do a video and take pictures earlier; but obviously didn’t work, and I looked down again. The person who came in in the car had finally gotten out and it was a woman. She started walking towards the door and the hooded-bloke then started to move towards her slowly at first. but with his back slightly bent, like he was trying not to be seen.

I thought he was going to tale-gait to get in the block, we’d already had an issue with this over the Summer when the block was being refurbished. Squatters and thieves would come in to try and get in flats or steal the expensive tools. I though that security would see this and send someone around to get rid of them.

Just then though he started to pick up speed very fast, like he wasn’t just trying to make it to the door before it shut; he was going for her! With his hood up and him running now, I thought “Fuck! I should’ve rang the Police before!” So in a panic I shouted “Oi! You, dickhead! Fuck off! Fuck off! Move!” As I and my brother had finished shouting he got to her, she turned around looked at him shocked, then he looked up at us, she looked at him, and he backed up off. I thought he’d done that because he was seen, he only did it to look up, and then shout “What?!” I wasn’t sure if she knew him or not but they both went in the block.

I got on to security again to tell them and it turns out they’d phoned the Police when he started running towards her. They told me they looked like they knew each other and were talking in the block and then told the Police it was OK now. So it turns out it was someone trying to scare a friend or partner.

What was I supposed to think? What would you think? I assumed security, which I contribute towards, would have dealt with it; them having a better view and technology than me? Apparently not, instead they were practically pleading with me to ring the Police. I was ready to ring the Police and then go down there with my brother if the lady would have been attacked. I can only assume security would’ve just sat there and watched if anything had actually happened.

DHC1

 

 

Posted in Health and wellness, Questions | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Day 2: What’s Your Name?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on January 4, 2014

It’s day 2 of the zero to hero blog challenge, well it’s in fact day 3 but I was out of a time a little yesterday.

This challenge was to edit my title and tag-line and also put in a widget (Go here for a full run down of the challenge). I’d already done this a while a back and was happy with it, so I thought I’d just give my tag-line some work as the: “Warning: Strong Content! You Have Been Warned!” one was a little lacking. It does serve a purpose as it warns people there is strong content here that could make them cry and quickly inspire someone to “Think of the children!”.

 

I settled on: “Questioning Everything and Everyone!” Why? Because that’s what I do! It’s also what everyone else should do, if you’re always aware of the world around you and the people in it, especially the type that come to you as authority figures, then the wool will not be so easily pulled down over your eyes. Even question those you agree with or share ideological sympathies with, and, quite crucially, yourself. There’s nothing worse than a big head who thinks they’re never wrong! Once you start to believe you have it all sussed then you may as well change your name to ‘Smuggy McSmug‘ and join a cult because your critical thinking days are over. I’d just like to say I’m not advocating people act like a KGB agent and interrogate everyone they meet or know, I mean people should question the world and things around them if they don’t seem right. And if you can’t tell when something isn’t right then just question everything for a while and you’ll pick it up soon enough.

This leads nicely to why my blog name is: “I Don’t Fear The Chaos!“. This is because I’m not afraid of the fall out of the resulting of asking certain questions, saying certain things many in society dare not to and standing against established political authority (Especially when I think what they’re doing is questionable).

Here’s a poster I made a few years ago about questioning everything and everyone:

Question_Everything_by_dead_anarchist_phil

I know this gif is quite slow, I did originally have it faster, but I slowed it down for those who don’t read so fast. I was contemplating doing a post on this poster but this post will suffice.

That’s it for that task, I wont be doing Day 3 because I’m happy with the blog I wrote. Also, just for the fun of it, here’s Sick of it All:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 18 Comments »

Excuse me while I cripple myself for the good of my health

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on November 12, 2013

So I’m trying to do some weightlifting exercises again, even though the Doctors and specialists have advised me not to. I can’t keep sitting on my arse and doing nothing. A lack of inactivity sinks my mood quicker than a huge iceberg sinks a super liner that was poorly constructed with sub-standard steel (I know, I’m hilarious).

Now when I say ‘sinks my mood’ I mean I get horribly depressed, and I don’t like to admit that on here. I mean, I can quite happily mention and chat about shitting my guts out with Ulcerative Colitis but I don’t like mentioning depression. Quite odd for an individual who talks about anything and everything, isn’t it? I suppose because I think it’s a weak spot for me, but this isn’t the subject of the post.

What I want to get across is that the importance of physical activity to me is paramount! I need to do something physically demanding to keep my mood ‘stable’. Other things I do don’t come anywhere near to providing me with the feel-good endorphins I get from weights or jogging. I want you to understand why I choose to do something that leaves me in pain, discomfort and maybe even cripple me temporally (It’s happened before, of course I wasn’t literally crippled, just immobilize for days or even weeks).

Why am I telling you this? I’m telling you because I’m going to keep a diary for a few weeks (It may just be a few a days depending on how long I can last) of my progress and then post it, and it will contain pieces of me moaning and hurting myself while trying to be healthy physically and mentally. I have to do something or I will be worse off. I’m also documenting this so it gives me more reason to do it and keep up with it.

Mon 23rd Spe 2013: Day 1 – Chest & Tricep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Chest press – 45kg

dumbbell Flye – 10kg each

Dumbbell pull-over – 15kg

Overhead Dumbbell extention – 15kg

Close grip bench press – 10kg

Reverse close grip press – empty bar

I found this difficult, especially as I don’t have the right type of bench of for the dumbbell pull-over. I had to do the reverse close grip without weights. I wasn’t powerful enough to press in that position.

I had pain during the exercise but it was tolerable at the time. Once I’d finished and showered I had more pain and couldn’t get comfortable. Had to get out of bed and take some pain killers and hit the hay.

Woke up the following morning feeling surprisingly OK as I usually wake up with pain in my back, which can get worse towards the afternoon.

Tues 24th Sep 2013: Day 2 – Legs & Sholders – 5 sets of 5 reps

Barbell Sqauts – 50kg – 20kg

Dumbbell Lunge – 15kg – 10kg

Stiff leg deadlift – 40kg

Seated Barbell press – 30kg 20kg

Dumbbell front raise – 10kg each

Barbell shrug – 50kg – 40kg

It hurt more today than yesterday. I couldn’t do squats with more than 20kg safely without the right equipment. Didn’t have enough weight for the dumbbell lunges as they’re an old set and not like my olympic weight set. Stiff leg dead lift hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. I had to do the seated barbell press stood up as I couldn’t comfortably lift from the bench, which as always isn’t fit for that exercise. Barbell shrug was the worse! I don’t think I’ll be doing it again, it just causes more pain than usual, which means ‘stop!’.

Wed 25th of September -Day 3: Back & Bicep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Deadlift – 60kg 40kg

One arm row – 15kg

Reverse grip barbell row – 30kg

Barbell curl – 20kg

Dumbbell concentration curls – 10kg

Reverse grip barbell curls – 20kg

I woke up on day three felling stiff in the back area. Warmed up and tried to do some weights. After my first set of deadlifts I crippled myself. I’m now taking medication for it and I feel drunk. If I wasn’t feeling this way I’d be annoyed, frustrated, mad and depressed. Don’t think I’ll be doing anything for at least 4 to 5 days. Still some slight discomfort and difficult to walk.

It’s now November 2013 and my back is still weak and other attempts to get started again have failed. They failed because my back feels so weak, in pain and ready to go at any time, even when walking. I can only walk for half an hour before my back starts getting tight and I start staggering.

I went to see my Doctor last week and he gave me a run down of what the specialists said. It isn’t Sacroilitis, it’s ‘mechanical back pain’, that is nondescript back pain. There’s apparently something wrong with certain disks in my spine in the lower back area but they can’t really say what it is. They also can’t do much for me besides give me pain killers which I try not to take because they don’t kill the pain completely and they make me feel tired and drunk.

The only option I have left now is swimming and the Doctor and council will not help me, like they would’ve done before the government cuts (Because of lack of funds). So Now I have to find £25 a month for the liberty of going swimming for 2 hours a day 5 days a week. I’m going to try it for a month and see what happens, if it does work for me I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford it as I have money issues as it is already. Let me tell you, living on benefits in the UK isn’t that great, so I don’t have much to live on (Regardless of what the Tories and their voters say).

I could go swimming in the local river, but I don’t much fancy picking up a flesh-eating disease. So I’m pretty pissed off, oh, and my Doctor had the nerve to say having a negative state of mind makes any pain I do get worse. So any pain I do get is magnified and said I should be more positive. To which I replied: “That’s bollocks” he said it wasn’t, I repeated again “It’s bollocks!”, he disagreed again and I said for the 3rd time, “That’s bollocks!” I said this because he was basically inferring my negative state of mind was making the pain seem worse.

I told him that I was in the best state of mind and body I’d been in for years prior to developing these current back issues and even when they were at the most painful I was still in a positive mindset and the pain was excruciating. The issue is I’ve been gradually getting less and less active and because of that I’ve been getting more and more depressed because I can’t exercise and raise my endorphin levels. There’s nothing else I can do that lifts my mood like exercise does, so I end up eating food I shouldn’t be eating.

You could argue I should go on a diet and not eat the stuff I eat, however this isn’t so easy as I can’t raise my mood so sticking to a diet is almost impossible because I have zero will-power (Because I don’t have exercise to help me keep my mood stable and so suppress my appetite). So going on a diet would make my mood sink more and I wouldn’t be able to keep to it. So yeh, self-control, I used to have it!

What’s the point of this post? I just wanted to whine because I have no other outlet.

And here’d Suede, just for the fun of it:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | 20 Comments »

Morons and Headaches = Lack of sleep!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on October 25, 2013

I’m at the family home right now and I tried to go bed with a headache and rapid heartbeat, as happens to me a lot because of my anxious nature and medication I take. However I thought I’d get to sleep eventually as I usually do, but no… because the witless, brain-dead, empty-headed retards on the 16 story block of flats behind the deadanarchist family homestead were throwing what I can only describe as tires from the windows!

I couldn’t actually see what was thrown as there’s two huge leylandia trees blocking the view over the first ten floors and the car park below. But the sound, it sounded like rubber car tires hitting the large steel roof that overhangs the entrance to the flats. Though it’s unlikely to be tires, so I’m thinking it was more like furniture. Huge thuds and bumps accompanied occasionally by what sounds like empty beer or coke cans, though from the shouting they’re most likely to be beer cans.

I would complain but it doesn’t matter (Actually I can’t complain because I don’t live here anymore), the housing association will just let more dickheads on the block (After they’ve kicked the current bunch off) because they don’t vet them properly! And so a high turnover of morons will been seen from that block and many others in the area because of the lax vetting.

Oh, and all this was happening at 2:30am in the morning. One can only hope they fall out and hit every ledge on the way down. I know, that sounds mean but it’d probably be the kindest thing for them and a benefit for society in the long run. That was mean. But, hmmmm… is Phil joking though?

dxh82a

So now I’m awake and can’t sleep so I thought I check on wordpress and listen to some music while my body waits to get to the point where I have no choice but to sleep. You know it’s odd, I feel tired all day no matter how much sleep I get, but I don’t sleep well or for very long these days. It’s a combination things I think that causes it.

Anyway, I have some comments to answer so I’ll leave you with Fleetwood Mac – ‘Little Lies’ simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to!

Have a good weekend all! 🙂

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness | 12 Comments »

A Pain in the back, a pain in the head and a pain in the arse (basically an update)

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on September 15, 2013

Any regular readers or old-time friends who read my blogs will know that I was almost completely absent from blogging last year (2012), and most of this year (2013). For me this is unusual, I can go missing from blogging for weeks or months on end and then come back with something.

However, this time I didn’t. The reason for this? I was preoccupied with my University degree and generally being  and trying to be healthy. For those people who know me they will know how rare this is as I have several illnesses that impact my ability to do many things and go places.

One of the worse of these was Ulcerative Colitis. I was taking Prednisolone steroids to control this in conjunction with Mesalazine. But then I had to switch medication as the medical steroids I was on had given me steroid-induced diabetes (Type 2 Diabetes) and weren’t always delivering consistent results. Since I started taking Azathioprine medication to control the Ulcerative Colitis in late 2011 I slowly got better and it gave me my life back. Now when I say ‘better’ I mean things were good and well controlled but I still had and still do have issues with the UC. In fact after being diagnosed with the diabetes it made me more depressed and this stalled the UC recovery into to early 2012.

As the UC was beginning to get better I was able to be more physically active, something I’ve not been able to do properly for a while. I think I was helped along with this when I had a bad bout of OCD, to stop myself from ruminating and worrying I threw myself in to my exercise regime, which is something I badly needed to do as I was 25st (350lbs/158kgs) and had the diabetes to worry about too. I’d gained so much weight because of years of the UC affecting my diet, so many foods I ate, that were good for me, triggered a reaction with the UC. So I ended up eating junk food, which didn’t apparently do anything. Combine that with lack of exercise because that set the UC off too and being housebound and you’ve got yourself the right combination for more health troubles.

I started off on the treadmill just walking for half an hour five days a week, it was gentle and not too much hassle. I did however get blisters on both my feet and on my toes because my feet weren’t used to wearing shoes for so long and in such conditions. These were huge blisters too! But I couldn’t take time out, it wasn’t an option anymore, so I just looked after my feet and bandaged them when I went on the treadmill.

Gradually my feet got used to it and I started to walk for longer and then jog. I made a game of it, I’d try to jog for that bit longer each time I did the ‘run’ in the run and walk system that I used on there. When I say ‘run’, it was more of a jog for me as running put too much pressure on my back and knees, not to mention the treadmill! I began to develop great endurance and at my best I could jog non-stop for an hour and half. I couldn’t go no more than that because if I did my back would completely give in, I was getting back pain just doing the run and walk system for an hour.

During the times I was doing the treadmill I was also lifting weights too, but not too many and not too heavy. I’d set off my back pain doing weights on and off since the age of 16.

All this paid off as I went from being 25st (350lbs/158gs) to just under 18st (252lbs/114kgs) from November 2011 to August 2012 (though I only started my proper exercise regime in April 2012). I felt great! I was feeling physically and mentally well, the first time in a long while. Things were going so good I moved out of the family home and was even contemplating getting a part-time job, because despite what some people may say the UK benefit system isn’t that great and I’d rather make my own way in the world anyway.

Then came August 2012, the back issues I’d had on and of since I was 16, the ones that made me unable to walk for days and not able to walk properly for weeks, came back! The Doctor who came out to see me diagnosed Sciatica and my GP said the same thing. They gave me pain killers and told me to rest, do some core exercises to help strengthen my back then exercise as usual when back to normal, and if the pain comes back then take some pain killers and carry on. The pain has never gone away and I could not possibly exercise with those pain killers as the amount I’d need to dull the pain sufficiently leaves me really tired and feeling drunk. And lifting weights and jogging when you’re drunk aint such a good idea.

I had the issue investigated this year with X-rays and a CT scan, one of the Doctors said I may have Sacroillitis, before the X-rays and CT Scan was done, though I couldn’t see how that could be as Sacroillitis is a problem caused by inflammation caused by inflammatory bowel disease, I know I have that but I’ve only had that since 2005 and I’ve had these back issues since 1999! So that was dismissed by me and my GP who thought it unlikely too. The results from the X-ray and CT Scan came back and there’s a problem there, they can’t say exactly what it is, but it’s there and there’s nothing they can do. They advised me not to jog, run, lift weights or do any exercise that puts pressure on my back. This only leaves me swimming, which I can’t afford as a pass at the local gym is £22 a month which I can’t afford, the only other pool near by is £29, so both are out of the question.

Walking is supposed to be good but I can’t walk or stand for more than half an hour anymore without getting a tightening in my lower back, like someone’s stuck a cork-screw in there and is turning it. If try to carry on walking the pain gets worse and spreads down my groin and legs. Despite this I’ve been trying on and off since August 2012 to restart my regime despite what the Doctors and specialists say but I am just incapable of keeping to it anymore, there’s always pain and a lot of the time I’m physically incapable of completing the movements.

Without the exercise to release the endorphins (and I really need those guys) I need to help suppress my appetite and generally feel good… I’m slowly putting it back on. So I’ll be starting another diet tomorrow, only 1500 calories, to try drop my weight because it just isn’t healthy at all for me, and I don’t enjoy feeling unhealthy. The most annoying thing is I want to be physically active, but my body just wont allow it.

Hence why I wasn’t around much last year or most of this year, because I’ve been trying to stay physically and mentally healthy.

Another reason why I haven’t been on much is my University degree. Despite the obvious study, reasearch and writing of notes and essays and the like, there was something else about my course that stopped me from coming on.

It’s not that I can’t do or understand the work, I mean I passed the level 2 Philosophy module in my Politics, Philosophy and Economics degree and 2 others, the issue is that I’m learning so much and it makes me even more unsure of my own opinions. What I mean by this is I read a piece of work then think I’ve got it nailed and seen from all angles, then comes along another way to look at a particular issue from another angle I think to myself, “How could I miss that?”. It’s made me quite unsure of many opinions I hold.

I mean, if I’m wrong about that I could be wrong about many other things. And in fact, so can many other people. This is nothing I didn’t already know but doing this whole course brings it to the forefront because I’m forced to think about these things a lot.

This may sound stupid and cliché, but the more I learn the less I feel I really know.

Anyway, it’s this thinking, alongside my obsessive over thinking I do anyway, that tires me out mentally. Combined with illness and medication side-effects I can barely think straight most days, which makes it extra challenging to do the course and put everything I have into it. This is another reason I couldn’t come on, I was just too mentally tired after being consumed in study, reasearch and writing.

This piece is the blog I should have come back with instead of my Syria one, which is a bit of a throw back to how I used to write, my other blogs should be well thought out and researched, just like the essays I’ve had to write. And you know what, writing them can be a pain in the arse too, especially as only a few people will even read them. Which is another reason why I wasn’t posting much, because if I do one of my long blogs again many normal people don’t bother much. There’s also the fact my blogging at the world also wont change much.

Oh, I didn’t mention my headaches, but they impact my blogging too, but sod them.

My next course starts in October 2013, so expect me to go quiet a little but I will still be around commenting on blogs and such. For now I’ll leave you with Bat for Lashes, simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to. Oh and how cute is Natasha Khan in the video?

Much love to all!

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

UK Law & Order Are A Complete Joke!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on June 25, 2011

I wasn’t planning on doing any more blogs this week, and I know I’ve done a post like this before but I had to blog on this.

You may have seen on the news this week that a man in Salford has been arrested for stabbing a burglar who attempted to rob his home with a gang of three men. The burglar (Who was already out on bail for a previous robbery) died from his wounds, the man is now under suspicion of murder.

The incident happened last Wednesday, I know the Police have to do their job, but three days? As of me writing this post on the 23rd of June 2011 there has been no word of him getting out, in fact the Police have been granted extra time to question him. [UPDATE: The man is now out on bail]

Just think about it, you’ve defended yourself and your family, like anyone would, and then you get arrested. This wound me up and got me thinking of my rights to self-defence, the law and the prevention of crime.

I have to say, when I read it, I raged a little! Take a look (All these are short extracts, to read in full click here):

The Law and Evidential Sufficiency:

“It is both good law and good sense that a man who is attacked may defend himself. It is both good law and good sense that he may do, but only do, what is reasonably necessary.”

And…

“A person may use such force as is reasonable in the circumstances in the prevention of crime, or in effecting or assisting in the lawful arrest of offenders or suspected offenders or of persons unlawfully at large.”

reasonable necessary“? So, if a gang bursts in someone’s home and the occupant instinctively reacts to protect himself and his family he/she is going to bear these stipulations, oh wait… ‘Laws’ – in mind? No they wont, they will react with an animal instinct and aim to kill, no matter with weapons or whatever else is to hand.

Yet acting this way can land you in prison for actions that are not “unreasonably necessary“.

Right now, there is nothing stopping a gang from bursting in to your or my house, assaulting and then robbing us. There’s nothing stopping them from intimidating you, your neighbours and the whole area you live in. Only in the UK could the population be told to remain sitting ducks and not protect ourselves and our neighbour hoods properly and wait to be victims of crimes. 

So, if the laws’s a joke, prison is no deterrent and the police and law wont protect us, then who will? It’s obvious… no one but ourselves. I have honestly given up and lost faith with the Police, they can’t be relied upon to protect you from violence, robbery or intimidation, all they do is log your crime or problems and try to catch or have a word with whoever did it. Too bad if something of yours was stolen or someone died, isn’t it?

I really am sick of it, I live in one of the shittest Cities in the UK, only third to Glasgow and London, and the law is a joke and the local scum know how they can get away with murder, literally, and so it’s no skin off their nose if they kick the shit out of you. They’ll go away and come out a hero and ‘Hard man’ and bring the area down even more and wreck even more lives.

So, we can’t rely on the Police and law system to protect us, on the street or in our own homes. I really am itching to start taking defensive weapons out with me. I know, it sounds bad, but the crime stats for my area are bad too! And don’t tell me I’m worrying over nothing, I know who the local scum are! I’m also thinking about using something large, heavy or sharp for home defence, fuck the repercussions. And anyone who thinks the country is not that bad then you’re either rich, drinking the coolaid or part of the problem.

What you can legally Use:

Hands/Body. Unless you’re a MMA fighter then you’re pretty much fucked.

Self Defence Spray This stuff is useless! All it does is mark the skin for seven days.

Running Away. This is the actual prefered method the Police advocate. Wont make much difference if you’re cornered in your own home or being chased by a gang.

What you can’t use:

Pretty much everything else. So that sharpened Banana I had planned is out of the question!

Which brings us back to the Police and law again, they don’t want us to defend ourselves and leave them to do the crime fighting, yet how can we do that when they’re useless and the deterrent for crime isn’t a working at all? And the Human/Civil Rights groups also want us to defend ourselves ‘reasonably’! It seriously is a joke!

Oh, and if any one thinks David Cameron is on our side with this, well… you’re wrong. When he said last week:

We will put beyond doubt that homeowners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted.

All he’s doing is reiterating the current law! He says shit like that safe in the knowledge that most people haven’t got a clue what their rights to self-defence are. I didn’t even know fully untill I checked! I advise you all to read it, rage, laugh, then hold you head in your hands and not think for a second if someone breaks in to your house or attacks you in the street, fight back, fight back as if you’re life depends on it, because the likelihood is… you most likely are!

Posted in Culture, Health and wellness, News and politics, UK Law | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Thirteen on Prednisolone (EPIC WINNING)

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on April 18, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression Caused by the UC directly. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day 85 Tue 12th April: (?) (?) (?)

Day 86 Wed 13th April:Had a bad visit to the toilet, went three times, first time was normal, second was a little less formed and the third time was typical UC. Hoping this is just a blip.

My sleeping pattern is still upside down. I sleep about two or three hours then wake up around 8 or 9am, then stay awake untill 3 or 4pm and then I’m so tired I have to sleep for four or five hours then I’m awake untill f or 5am. Wonkey aint in it! (3/10) (1/10)

Day 87 Thu 14th April: Things seem to have normalised somewhat, looks like it was just a blip.

Still tired and still fucked! (2/10) (1/10)

Day 88 Fri 15th  April: Been awake since 9am, going to try and stay awake untill 10 pm or so.

Toilet visit normal. Sleeping pattern started to normalise. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 89 Sat 16th  April: Toilet visit was normal.

Sleeping pattern staying stable. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 90 Sun 17th April: Got up at 8:15am.

Toilet visit was normal.

Had a headache. Went to bed at 11:30pm.(1/10) (1/10)

Day 91 Mon 18th April: Woke up at 8:10am. Not been to the toilet yet. Visit to the UC specialist today.

Went to toilet, tis all normal.

Just got back from the seeing the inflammatory Bowl Disease nurse (IBD Nurse), um, I wont be on Prednisolone anymore. I have to ween myself off them over this week and then stop while increasing my Mesalazine Tablets from 6 tabs a day to 8 tabs a day to off-set against the loss of the prednisolone – just incase the UC trys to come back.

She said although things have gone back to normal on the surface of the colon, it doesn’t mean the underside hasn’t. There’s three layers of the colon, and only my top level is healed. So I have to wait for 6 months or so before I start to introduce the foods that could cause the UC. She also told me that I would be able to eat the trigger foods once fully healed, that’s a relief! So yeh, I have about five months left before full recovery because I only started to recover a month or so ago.

If I do have another flare I wont be using Prednisolone anymore, I will be put on another drug that has marginally fewer side-effects and one possible big one! It’s called Azathioprine. If I take this medication I have a 4 in 100,000 chance of developing Lymphoma! But when you think about it, everyone has a 1 in 100,000 chance of developing Lymphoma, so the chances are pretty negligible, but still… Lymphoma??? She told me the long-term effects of Azathioprine were significantly less than those of Prednisolone. Compare them yourself and tell me what you think, what you take them?

Another thing, I sussed out why I get headaches… it’s because I’m so out of shape and over weight. They’re called “exertional Headaches” or “Exercise Induced Headaches“. Basically, it happens when a person works themselves so hard they get headaches. However, just walking, bending down, gardening or getting out of a Taxi (yes, that happened today!) and walking set it off! I got a really bad banging headache when I got back home. Then again, that comes as no surprise to me as I’m 24st!

Oh yeh, because I’m eating rubbish I have a “fatty liver”. I explained to her it’s hard work to exercise when you have trouble with really low-moods and limited diet. Anyway, I have to go for a scan on it soon.

Um, I see the UC consultant tomorrow, so another trip there! Not looking forward to it really!

So, in short… Things are good, coming off the steroids over this week (which means one last UC Diary based on Prednisolone, but I’ll still do a UC Diary once a week or so), weight is bad and liver is a little dodgey, but over all things are sort of looking up on the UC front! (1/10) (1/10)

Posted in Health and wellness, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Twelve On Prednisolone

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on April 13, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression Caused by the UC directly. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day 78 Tue 5th April 2011: Still have the headache from exercising on Monday, I’ve had it all night, I couldn’t sleep because of it. I slept two hours then had to get up and hold a hot-water bottle to the area. It got rid of it eventually, went to bed at 6am Wed 6th

Never went to the toilet this day. (2/10) (2/10)

Day 79Wed 6th April 2011: Didn’t have a headache when I woke up but developed it when I started cleaning up.

Did some more light exercise today, some squats and walking briskly on the treadmill, it was a little easier, though I need to improve my stamina and cardio over the next few months. If I do it slow I lower the risk of making myself ill and pulling muscles. Still feel like my back’s going to give in though.

Exercise made the headache work!

Never went to the toilet this day.(1/10) (2/10)

Day 80 Thu 7th April 2011: Wonky sleeping pattern the most annoying thing today.

Haven’t been to the toilet today.(1/10) (2/10)

Day 81 Fri 8th April 2011: Went to the toilet today, everything was normal. My sleeping pattern is still well and truly fucked. The closer I get to the course and study time the worse it gets! Which is just what I feared would happen.

I didn’t do exercise, couldn’t muster the, I can’t even think of the word!!(1/10) (1/10)

Day 82 Sat 9th April 2011: Toilet visit was normal.

My sleeping pattern being tits up is not helping me. Sleepin’ odd times does zero for motivation and developing a regime to do exercise, diet, DIY, Gardening and, in the future, study!

My pattern is so fucked up now that I’m sleeping a few hours then waking up and staying awake for six! Which is in contrast to a few days earlier when I was sleeping a lot and feeling tired all the time. Well, I still feel tired a lot, but it’s not as bad. Maybe it’s because I’m up at night with no one else about.(1/10) (1/10)

Day 83 Sun 10th April 2011: Toilet visit was normal. Motivation still low. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 84 Mon 11th April 2011: No toilet visit today. 

Did a lot of garden work, had to force myself to do it while fighting tiredness. I’d been up since 3am in the morning and didn’t get to sleep untill gone 12:30am Tuesday morning. I still didn’t have a good sleep. (1/10) (1/10)

Posted in Health and wellness, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »