I Don't Fear The Chaos!

Questioning Everything and Everyone!

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Archive for the ‘Health and wellness’ Category

Day 2: What’s Your Name?

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on January 4, 2014

It’s day 2 of the zero to hero blog challenge, well it’s in fact day 3 but I was out of a time a little yesterday.

This challenge was to edit my title and tag-line and also put in a widget (Go here for a full run down of the challenge). I’d already done this a while a back and was happy with it, so I thought I’d just give my tag-line some work as the: “Warning: Strong Content! You Have Been Warned!” one was a little lacking. It does serve a purpose as it warns people there is strong content here that could make them cry and quickly inspire someone to “Think of the children!”.

 

I settled on: “Questioning Everything and Everyone!” Why? Because that’s what I do! It’s also what everyone else should do, if you’re always aware of the world around you and the people in it, especially the type that come to you as authority figures, then the wool will not be so easily pulled down over your eyes. Even question those you agree with or share ideological sympathies with, and, quite crucially, yourself. There’s nothing worse than a big head who thinks they’re never wrong! Once you start to believe you have it all sussed then you may as well change your name to ‘Smuggy McSmug‘ and join a cult because your critical thinking days are over. I’d just like to say I’m not advocating people act like a KGB agent and interrogate everyone they meet or know, I mean people should question the world and things around them if they don’t seem right. And if you can’t tell when something isn’t right then just question everything for a while and you’ll pick it up soon enough.

This leads nicely to why my blog name is: “I Don’t Fear The Chaos!“. This is because I’m not afraid of the fall out of the resulting of asking certain questions, saying certain things many in society dare not to and standing against established political authority (Especially when I think what they’re doing is questionable).

Here’s a poster I made a few years ago about questioning everything and everyone:

Question_Everything_by_dead_anarchist_phil

I know this gif is quite slow, I did originally have it faster, but I slowed it down for those who don’t read so fast. I was contemplating doing a post on this poster but this post will suffice.

That’s it for that task, I wont be doing Day 3 because I’m happy with the blog I wrote. Also, just for the fun of it, here’s Sick of it All:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | Tagged: , , , , , , | 18 Comments »

Excuse me while I cripple myself for the good of my health

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on November 12, 2013

So I’m trying to do some weightlifting exercises again, even though the Doctors and specialists have advised me not to. I can’t keep sitting on my arse and doing nothing. A lack of inactivity sinks my mood quicker than a huge iceberg sinks a super liner that was poorly constructed with sub-standard steel (I know, I’m hilarious).

Now when I say ‘sinks my mood’ I mean I get horribly depressed, and I don’t like to admit that on here. I mean, I can quite happily mention and chat about shitting my guts out with Ulcerative Colitis but I don’t like mentioning depression. Quite odd for an individual who talks about anything and everything, isn’t it? I suppose because I think it’s a weak spot for me, but this isn’t the subject of the post.

What I want to get across is that the importance of physical activity to me is paramount! I need to do something physically demanding to keep my mood ‘stable’. Other things I do don’t come anywhere near to providing me with the feel-good endorphins I get from weights or jogging. I want you to understand why I choose to do something that leaves me in pain, discomfort and maybe even cripple me temporally (It’s happened before, of course I wasn’t literally crippled, just immobilize for days or even weeks).

Why am I telling you this? I’m telling you because I’m going to keep a diary for a few weeks (It may just be a few a days depending on how long I can last) of my progress and then post it, and it will contain pieces of me moaning and hurting myself while trying to be healthy physically and mentally. I have to do something or I will be worse off. I’m also documenting this so it gives me more reason to do it and keep up with it.

Mon 23rd Spe 2013: Day 1 – Chest & Tricep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Chest press – 45kg

dumbbell Flye – 10kg each

Dumbbell pull-over – 15kg

Overhead Dumbbell extention – 15kg

Close grip bench press – 10kg

Reverse close grip press – empty bar

I found this difficult, especially as I don’t have the right type of bench of for the dumbbell pull-over. I had to do the reverse close grip without weights. I wasn’t powerful enough to press in that position.

I had pain during the exercise but it was tolerable at the time. Once I’d finished and showered I had more pain and couldn’t get comfortable. Had to get out of bed and take some pain killers and hit the hay.

Woke up the following morning feeling surprisingly OK as I usually wake up with pain in my back, which can get worse towards the afternoon.

Tues 24th Sep 2013: Day 2 – Legs & Sholders – 5 sets of 5 reps

Barbell Sqauts – 50kg – 20kg

Dumbbell Lunge – 15kg – 10kg

Stiff leg deadlift – 40kg

Seated Barbell press – 30kg 20kg

Dumbbell front raise – 10kg each

Barbell shrug – 50kg – 40kg

It hurt more today than yesterday. I couldn’t do squats with more than 20kg safely without the right equipment. Didn’t have enough weight for the dumbbell lunges as they’re an old set and not like my olympic weight set. Stiff leg dead lift hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. I had to do the seated barbell press stood up as I couldn’t comfortably lift from the bench, which as always isn’t fit for that exercise. Barbell shrug was the worse! I don’t think I’ll be doing it again, it just causes more pain than usual, which means ‘stop!’.

Wed 25th of September -Day 3: Back & Bicep – 5 sets of 5 reps

Deadlift – 60kg 40kg

One arm row – 15kg

Reverse grip barbell row – 30kg

Barbell curl – 20kg

Dumbbell concentration curls – 10kg

Reverse grip barbell curls – 20kg

I woke up on day three felling stiff in the back area. Warmed up and tried to do some weights. After my first set of deadlifts I crippled myself. I’m now taking medication for it and I feel drunk. If I wasn’t feeling this way I’d be annoyed, frustrated, mad and depressed. Don’t think I’ll be doing anything for at least 4 to 5 days. Still some slight discomfort and difficult to walk.

It’s now November 2013 and my back is still weak and other attempts to get started again have failed. They failed because my back feels so weak, in pain and ready to go at any time, even when walking. I can only walk for half an hour before my back starts getting tight and I start staggering.

I went to see my Doctor last week and he gave me a run down of what the specialists said. It isn’t Sacroilitis, it’s ‘mechanical back pain’, that is nondescript back pain. There’s apparently something wrong with certain disks in my spine in the lower back area but they can’t really say what it is. They also can’t do much for me besides give me pain killers which I try not to take because they don’t kill the pain completely and they make me feel tired and drunk.

The only option I have left now is swimming and the Doctor and council will not help me, like they would’ve done before the government cuts (Because of lack of funds). So Now I have to find ¬£25 a month for the liberty of going swimming for 2 hours a day 5 days a week. I’m going to try it for a month and see what happens, if it does work for me I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford it as I have money issues as it is already. Let me tell you, living on benefits in the UK isn’t that great, so I don’t have much to live on (Regardless of what the Tories and their voters say).

I could go swimming in the local river, but I don’t much fancy picking up a flesh-eating disease. So I’m pretty pissed off, oh, and my Doctor had the nerve to say having a negative state of mind makes any pain I do get worse. So any pain I do get is magnified and said I should be more positive. To which I replied: “That’s bollocks” he said it wasn’t, I repeated again “It’s bollocks!”, he disagreed again and I said for the 3rd time, “That’s bollocks!” I said this because he was basically inferring my negative state of mind was making the pain seem worse.

I told him that I was in the best state of mind and body I’d been in for years prior to developing these current back issues and even when they were at the most painful I was still in a positive mindset and the pain was excruciating. The issue is I’ve been gradually getting less and less active and because of that I’ve been getting more and more depressed because I can’t exercise and raise my endorphin levels. There’s nothing else I can do that lifts my mood like exercise does, so I end up eating food I shouldn’t be eating.

You could argue I should go on a diet and not eat the stuff I eat, however this isn’t so easy as I can’t raise my mood so sticking to a diet is almost impossible because I have zero will-power (Because I don’t have exercise to help me keep my mood stable and so suppress my appetite). So going on a diet would make my mood sink more and I wouldn’t be able to keep to it. So yeh, self-control, I used to have it!

What’s the point of this post? I just wanted to whine because I have no other outlet.

And here’d Suede, just for the fun of it:

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies | 20 Comments »

Morons and Headaches = Lack of sleep!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on October 25, 2013

I’m at the family home right now and I tried to go bed with a headache and rapid heartbeat, as happens to me a lot because of my anxious nature and medication I take. However I thought I’d get to sleep eventually as I usually do, but no… because the witless, brain-dead, empty-headed retards on the 16 story block of flats behind the deadanarchist family homestead were throwing what I can only describe as tires from the windows!

I couldn’t actually see what was thrown as there’s two huge leylandia trees blocking the view over the first ten floors and the car park below. But the sound, it sounded like rubber car tires hitting the large steel roof that overhangs the entrance to the flats. Though it’s unlikely to be tires, so I’m thinking it was more like furniture. Huge thuds and bumps accompanied occasionally by what sounds like empty beer or coke cans, though from the shouting they’re most likely to be beer cans.

I would complain but it doesn’t matter (Actually I can’t complain because I don’t live here anymore), the housing association will just let more dickheads on the block (After they’ve kicked the current bunch off) because they don’t vet them properly! And so a high turnover of morons will been seen from that block and many others in the area because of the lax vetting.

Oh, and all this was happening at 2:30am in the morning. One can only hope they fall out and hit every ledge on the way down. I know, that sounds mean but it’d probably be the kindest thing for them and a benefit for society in the long run. That was mean. But, hmmmm… is Phil joking though?

dxh82a

So now I’m awake and can’t sleep so I thought I check on wordpress and listen to some music while my body waits to get to the point where I have no choice but to sleep. You know it’s odd, I feel tired all day no matter how much sleep I get, but I don’t sleep well or for very long these days. It’s a combination things I think that causes it.

Anyway, I have some comments to answer so I’ll leave you with Fleetwood Mac – ‘Little Lies’ simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to!

Have a good weekend all! ūüôā

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness | 12 Comments »

A Pain in the back, a pain in the head and a pain in the arse (basically an update)

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on September 15, 2013

Any regular readers or old-time friends who read my blogs will know that I was almost completely absent from blogging last year (2012), and most of this year (2013). For me this is unusual, I can go missing from blogging for weeks or months on end and then come back with something.

However, this time I didn’t. The reason for this? I was preoccupied with my University degree and generally being¬† and trying to be healthy. For those people who know me they will know how rare this is as I have several illnesses that impact my ability to do many things and go places.

One of the worse of these was Ulcerative Colitis. I was taking Prednisolone steroids to control this in conjunction with Mesalazine. But then I had to switch medication as the medical steroids I was on had given me steroid-induced diabetes (Type 2 Diabetes) and weren’t always delivering consistent results. Since I started taking Azathioprine medication to control the Ulcerative Colitis in late 2011 I slowly got better and it gave me my life back. Now when I say ‘better’ I mean things were good and well controlled but I still had and still do have issues with the UC. In fact after being diagnosed with the diabetes it made me more depressed and this stalled the UC recovery into to early 2012.

As the UC was beginning to get better I was able to be more physically active, something I’ve not been able to do properly for a while. I think I was helped along with this when I had a bad bout of OCD, to stop myself from ruminating and worrying I threw myself in to my exercise regime, which is something I badly needed to do as I was 25st (350lbs/158kgs) and had the diabetes to worry about too. I’d gained so much weight because of years of the UC affecting my diet, so many foods I ate, that were good for me, triggered a reaction with the UC. So I ended up eating junk food, which didn’t apparently do anything. Combine that with lack of exercise because that set the UC off too and being housebound and you’ve got yourself the right combination for more health troubles.

I started off on the treadmill just walking for half an hour five days a week, it was gentle and not too much hassle. I did however get blisters on both my feet and on my toes because my feet weren’t used to wearing shoes for so long and in such conditions. These were huge blisters too! But I couldn’t take time out, it wasn’t an option anymore, so I just looked after my feet and bandaged them when I went on the treadmill.

Gradually my feet got used to it and I started to walk for longer and then jog. I made a game of it, I’d try to jog for that bit longer each time I did the ‘run’ in the run and walk system that I used on there. When I say ‘run’, it was more of a jog for me as running put too much pressure on my back and knees, not to mention the treadmill! I began to develop great endurance and at my best I could jog non-stop for an hour and half. I couldn’t go no more than that because if I did my back would completely give in, I was getting back pain just doing the run and walk system for an hour.

During the times I was doing the treadmill I was also lifting weights too, but not too many and not too heavy. I’d set off my back pain doing weights on and off since the age of 16.

All this paid off as I went from being 25st (350lbs/158gs) to just under 18st (252lbs/114kgs) from November 2011 to August 2012 (though I only started my proper exercise regime in April 2012). I felt great! I was feeling physically and mentally well, the first time in a long while. Things were going so good I moved out of the family home and was even contemplating getting a part-time job, because despite what some people may say the UK benefit system isn’t that great and I’d rather make my own way in the world anyway.

Then came August 2012, the back issues I’d had on and of since I was 16, the ones that made me unable to walk for days and not able to walk properly for weeks, came back! The Doctor who came out to see me diagnosed Sciatica and my GP said the same thing. They gave me pain killers and told me to rest, do some core exercises to help strengthen my back then exercise as usual when back to normal, and if the pain comes back then take some pain killers and carry on. The pain has never gone away and I could not possibly exercise with those pain killers as the amount I’d need to dull the pain sufficiently leaves me really tired and feeling drunk. And lifting weights and jogging when you’re drunk aint such a good idea.

I had the issue investigated this year with X-rays and a CT scan, one of the Doctors said I may have Sacroillitis, before the X-rays and CT Scan was done, though I couldn’t see how that could be as Sacroillitis is a problem caused by inflammation caused by inflammatory bowel disease, I know I have that but I’ve only had that since 2005 and I’ve had these back issues since 1999! So that was dismissed by me and my GP who thought it unlikely too. The results from the X-ray and CT Scan came back and there’s a problem there, they can’t say exactly what it is, but it’s there and there’s nothing they can do. They advised me not to jog, run, lift weights or do any exercise that puts pressure on my back. This only leaves me swimming, which I can’t afford as a pass at the local gym is ¬£22 a month which I can’t afford, the only other pool near by is ¬£29, so both are out of the question.

Walking is supposed to be good but I can’t walk or stand for more than half an hour anymore without getting a tightening in my lower back, like someone’s stuck a cork-screw in there and is turning it. If try to carry on walking the pain gets worse and spreads down my groin and legs. Despite this I’ve been trying on and off since August 2012 to restart my regime despite what the Doctors and specialists say but I am just incapable of keeping to it anymore, there’s always pain and a lot of the time I’m physically incapable of completing the movements.

Without the exercise to release the endorphins (and I really need those guys) I need to help suppress my appetite and generally feel good… I’m slowly putting it back on. So I’ll be starting another diet tomorrow, only 1500 calories, to try drop my weight because it just isn’t healthy at all for me, and I don’t enjoy feeling unhealthy. The most annoying thing is I want to be physically active, but my body just wont allow it.

Hence why I wasn’t around much last year or most of this year, because I’ve been trying to stay physically and mentally healthy.

Another reason why I haven’t been on much is my University degree. Despite the obvious study, reasearch and writing of notes and essays and the like, there was something else about my course that stopped me from coming on.

It’s not that I can’t do or understand the work, I mean I passed the level 2 Philosophy module in my Politics, Philosophy and Economics degree and 2 others, the issue is that I’m learning so much and it makes me even more unsure of my own opinions. What I mean by this is I read a piece of work then think I’ve got it nailed and seen from all angles, then comes along another way to look at a particular issue from another angle I think to myself, “How could I miss that?”. It’s made me quite unsure of many opinions I hold.

I mean, if I’m wrong about that I could be wrong about many other things. And in fact, so can many other people. This is nothing I didn’t already know but doing this whole course brings it to the forefront because I’m forced to think about these things a lot.

This may sound stupid and cliché, but the more I learn the less I feel I really know.

Anyway, it’s this thinking, alongside my obsessive over thinking I do anyway, that tires me out mentally. Combined with illness and medication side-effects I can barely think straight most days, which makes it extra challenging to do the course and put everything I have into it. This is another reason I couldn’t come on, I was just too mentally tired after being consumed in study, reasearch and writing.

This piece is the blog I should have come back with instead of my Syria one, which is a bit of a throw back to how I used to write, my other blogs should be well thought out and researched, just like the essays I’ve had to write. And you know what, writing them can be a pain in the arse too, especially as only a few people will even read them. Which is another reason why I wasn’t posting much, because if I do one of my long blogs again many normal people don’t bother much. There’s also the fact my blogging at the world also wont change much.

Oh, I didn’t mention my headaches, but they impact my blogging too, but sod them.

My next course starts in October 2013, so expect me to go quiet a little but I will still be around commenting on blogs and such. For now I’ll leave you with Bat for Lashes, simply because it’s the song I’m currently listening to. Oh and how cute is Natasha Khan in the video?

Much love to all!

– Phil

Posted in Health and wellness, Hobbies, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

UK Law & Order Are A Complete Joke!

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on June 25, 2011

I wasn’t planning on doing any more blogs this week, and I know I’ve done a post like this before but I had to blog on this.

You may have seen on the news this week that a man in Salford has been arrested for stabbing a burglar who attempted to rob his home with a gang of three men. The burglar (Who was already out on bail for a previous robbery) died from his wounds, the man is now under suspicion of murder.

The incident happened last Wednesday, I know the Police have to do their job, but three days? As of me writing this post on the 23rd of June 2011 there has been no word of him getting out, in fact the Police have been granted extra time to question him. [UPDATE: The man is now out on bail]

Just think about it, you’ve defended yourself and your family, like anyone would, and then you get arrested. This wound me up and got me thinking of my rights to self-defence, the law and the prevention of crime.

I have to say, when I read it, I raged a little! Take a look (All these are short extracts, to read in full click here):

The Law and Evidential Sufficiency:

“It is both good law and good sense that a man who is attacked may defend himself. It is both good law and good sense that he may do, but only do, what is reasonably necessary.”

And…

“A person may use such force as is reasonable in the circumstances in the prevention of crime, or in effecting or assisting in the lawful arrest of offenders or suspected offenders or of persons unlawfully at large.”

reasonable necessary“? So, if a gang bursts in someone’s home and the occupant¬†instinctively reacts to protect himself and his family he/she is going to bear these stipulations, oh wait… ‘Laws’ –¬†in mind? No they wont, they will react with an animal instinct and aim to kill, no matter with weapons or whatever else is to hand.

Yet acting this way can land you in prison for actions that are not “unreasonably necessary“.

Right now, there is nothing stopping a gang from bursting in to your or my house, assaulting and then robbing us. There’s nothing stopping them from intimidating you, your neighbours and the whole area you live in. Only in the UK could the population be told to remain sitting ducks and not protect ourselves and¬†our neighbour hoods¬†properly and wait to be victims of crimes.¬†

So, if the laws’s a joke, prison is no deterrent¬†and the police and law wont protect us, then who will? It’s obvious… no one but ourselves. I have honestly given up and lost faith¬†with the Police, they can’t be relied upon to protect you from violence, robbery or intimidation, all they do is log your crime or problems¬†and try to catch or have a word with¬†whoever did it. Too bad if something of yours was stolen or someone died, isn’t it?

I really am sick of it, I live in one of the shittest Cities in the UK, only third to Glasgow and London, and the law is a joke and the local scum know how they can get away with murder, literally, and so it’s no skin off their nose if they kick the shit out of you. They’ll go away and come out a hero and ‘Hard man’ and bring the area down even more and wreck even more lives.

So,¬†we can’t rely on the Police and law system¬†to protect us, on the street or in¬†our own homes. I really am itching to start taking defensive weapons out with me. I know, it sounds bad, but the crime stats for my area are bad too! And don’t tell me I’m worrying over¬†nothing, I know who the local scum are!¬†I’m also thinking about using something large, heavy or sharp for home defence, fuck the repercussions. And anyone who thinks the country is not that bad then you’re either rich, drinking the coolaid or part of the problem.

What you can legally Use:

Hands/Body.¬†Unless you’re a MMA fighter then you’re pretty much fucked.

Self Defence Spray This stuff is useless! All it does is mark the skin for seven days.

Running Away. This is the actual prefered method the Police advocate. Wont make much difference if you’re cornered in your own home or being chased by a gang.

What you can’t use:

Pretty much everything else. So that sharpened Banana I had planned is out of the question!

Which brings us back to the Police and law¬†again, they don’t want us to defend ourselves and¬†leave them to do the crime fighting, yet how can we do that when they’re useless and the deterrent for crime isn’t a¬†working at all? And the Human/Civil Rights groups¬†also want us to defend ourselves ‘reasonably’!¬†It seriously is a joke!

Oh, and if any one thinks David Cameron is on our side with this, well… you’re wrong. When he said last week:

We will put beyond doubt that homeowners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted.

All he’s doing is reiterating the current¬†law! He says shit like that safe in the knowledge that most people haven’t got a clue what their rights to self-defence are. I didn’t even know fully untill I checked! I advise you all to read it, rage,¬†laugh, then hold you head in your hands and not think for a second if someone breaks in to your house or attacks you in the street, fight back, fight back as if you’re life depends on it, because the likelihood is…¬†you most likely¬†are!

Posted in Culture, Health and wellness, News and politics, UK Law | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Thirteen on Prednisolone (EPIC WINNING)

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on April 18, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression Caused by the UC directly. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day 85 Tue 12th April: (?) (?) (?)

Day 86 Wed 13th April:Had a bad visit to the toilet, went three times, first time was normal, second was a little less formed and the third time was typical UC. Hoping this is just a blip.

My sleeping pattern is still upside down. I sleep about two or three hours then wake up around 8 or 9am, then stay awake untill 3 or 4pm and then I’m so tired I have to sleep for four or five hours then I’m awake untill f or 5am. Wonkey aint in it! (3/10) (1/10)

Day 87 Thu 14th April: Things seem to have normalised somewhat, looks like it was just a blip.

Still tired and still fucked! (2/10) (1/10)

Day 88 Fri 15th  April: Been awake since 9am, going to try and stay awake untill 10 pm or so.

Toilet visit normal. Sleeping pattern started to normalise. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 89 Sat 16th  April: Toilet visit was normal.

Sleeping pattern staying stable. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 90 Sun 17th April: Got up at 8:15am.

Toilet visit was normal.

Had a headache. Went to bed at 11:30pm.(1/10) (1/10)

Day 91 Mon 18th April: Woke up at 8:10am. Not been to the toilet yet. Visit to the UC specialist today.

Went to toilet, tis all normal.

Just got back from the seeing the inflammatory Bowl Disease nurse (IBD Nurse), um, I wont be on Prednisolone anymore. I have to ween myself off them over this week and then stop while increasing my Mesalazine Tablets from 6 tabs a day to 8 tabs a day to off-set against the loss of the prednisolone Рjust incase the UC trys to come back.

She said although things have gone back to normal on the surface of the colon, it doesn’t mean the underside hasn’t. There’s three layers of the colon, and only my top level is healed. So I have to wait for 6 months or so before I start to introduce the foods that could cause the UC. She also told me that I would be able to eat the trigger foods once fully healed, that’s a relief! So yeh, I have about five months left before full recovery because I only started to recover a month or so ago.

If I do have another flare I wont be using Prednisolone anymore, I will be put on another drug that has marginally fewer side-effects and one possible big one! It’s called Azathioprine.¬†If I take this medication I have a 4 in 100,000 chance of developing Lymphoma! But when you think about it, everyone has a 1 in 100,000 chance of developing Lymphoma, so the chances are pretty negligible, but still… Lymphoma??? She told me the long-term¬†effects of Azathioprine¬†were significantly less than those of Prednisolone. Compare them yourself and tell me what you think, what you take them?

Another thing, I sussed out why I get headaches… it’s because I’m so out of shape and over weight. They’re called “exertional¬†Headaches” or “Exercise Induced Headaches“. Basically, it happens when a person works themselves so hard they get headaches. However, just walking, bending down, gardening or getting out of a Taxi (yes, that happened today!) and walking set it off! I got a really bad banging headache when I got back home.¬†Then again, that comes as no surprise to me as I’m 24st!

Oh yeh, because I’m eating rubbish I have a “fatty liver”. I explained to her it’s hard work to exercise when you have trouble with really low-moods and limited diet. Anyway, I have to go for a scan on it soon.

Um, I see the UC consultant tomorrow, so another trip there! Not looking forward to it really!

So, in short… Things are good, coming off the steroids over this week (which means one last UC Diary based on Prednisolone, but I’ll still do a¬†UC Diary once a week or so), weight is bad and liver is a little dodgey, but over all things are sort of looking up on the UC front! (1/10) (1/10)

Posted in Health and wellness, Ulcerative Colitis Diary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Twelve On Prednisolone

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on April 13, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression Caused by the UC directly. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day 78 Tue 5th April 2011: Still have the headache from exercising on Monday, I’ve had it all night, I couldn’t sleep because of it. I slept two hours then had to get up and hold a hot-water bottle to the area. It got rid of it eventually, went to bed at 6am Wed 6th

Never went to the toilet this day. (2/10) (2/10)

Day 79Wed 6th April 2011: Didn’t have a headache when I woke up but developed it when I started cleaning up.

Did some more¬†light exercise today, some squats and walking briskly on the treadmill, it was a little easier, though I need to improve my stamina and cardio over the next few months. If I do it slow I lower the risk of making myself ill and pulling muscles. Still feel like my back’s going to give in though.

Exercise made the headache work!

Never went to the toilet this day.(1/10) (2/10)

Day 80 Thu 7th April 2011: Wonky sleeping pattern the most annoying thing today.

Haven’t been to the toilet today.(1/10) (2/10)

Day 81 Fri 8th April 2011: Went to the toilet today, everything was normal. My sleeping pattern is still well and truly fucked. The closer I get to the course and study time the worse it gets! Which is just what I feared would happen.

I didn’t do exercise, couldn’t muster the, I can’t even think of the word!!(1/10) (1/10)

Day 82 Sat 9th April 2011: Toilet visit was normal.

My sleeping pattern being tits up is not helping me. Sleepin’ odd times¬†does zero for motivation and developing a regime to do exercise, diet, DIY, Gardening and, in the future, study!

My pattern is so fucked up now that I’m sleeping a few hours then waking up and¬†staying awake¬†for¬†six!¬†Which is¬†in contrast to a few days earlier when I was sleeping a lot and feeling tired all the time. Well, I still feel tired a lot, but it’s not as bad. Maybe it’s because I’m up at night with no one else about.(1/10) (1/10)

Day 83 Sun 10th April 2011: Toilet visit was normal. Motivation still low. (1/10) (1/10)

Day 84 Mon 11th April 2011: No toilet visit today. 

Did a lot of garden work, had to force myself to do it while fighting tiredness. I’d been up since 3am in the morning and didn’t get to sleep untill gone 12:30am Tuesday morning. I still didn’t have a good sleep. (1/10) (1/10)

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Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Eleven On Prednisolone

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on April 5, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day 71 Tue 29th March 2011: (Been normal today, not much to report besides a low-mood still.

Went to the toilet, was normal. I pushed it today! I had another Big Mac for my tea, seeing as no one had gone shopping again and someone was going so I had a Big Mac. We’ll see how it affects me. (2/10) (6/10)

Day 72 Wed 30th March 2011: Went to the toilet twice today, which is something I havent done very often for the last two weeks. Both times it was normal, but I two motions with the second, the second wasn’t that formed and I actually had some abdominal tenderness. Maybe eating that Big Mac was a bad idea! I hope this is just a blip.

Did some light exercise, back strengthening, press-ups, squats, punching with weights in hand, stretching and walked on the treadmill for six minutes. During it and after I felt sick! And that was only light, I also felt abdominal twinges! I hope this doesn’t happen every time! (2/10) (6/10)

Day 73 Thu 31st March 2011: Went to the toilet not long after getting up, 1pm, and it’s less formed but still in the bracket of ‘normal’. Again, hoping this is just a blip and not a result of that Big Mac I ate!

Still feel funny inside, not sure if it was the Big Mac, Exercise or low-mood! We’ll see.

Did some more exercise, but only gentle, to increase my back-strength and over all muscle-strength. Felt sick and dizzy after it. Mood still low. (2/10)(7/10)

Day 74 Fri 1st April 2011: Things have gone back to normal.

Mood still low. (2/10) (7/10)

Day 75 Sat 2nd April 2011: Went to bed at 6am this day, I had a panic attack of sorts, the first time since 2006. Luckily I can control them, I just breathed through my nose normally and tried to relax. It made me feel better but didn’t get rid of the tightness in my chest fully. But it worked to a degree because I fell asleep.

The quality of sleep itself wasn’t that good either, I kept waking up and dreamed it was the end of the world, everyone seemed to be calm about it for some reason! I woke up at 12:30pm and had something to eat while I took my tablets. Then I went back to bed and slept untill 6pm. Still felt shitty when I got up.

Went to the toilet twice! Had the urgency feeling the second time. Still OK though. (2/10) (7/10)

Day 76 Sun 3rd April 2011: Woke up late after staying up to 9am! Woke at 1am and took tabs and then went back to bed. Woke up at 8pm.

Toilet visit was normal and mood still low. (2/10) (7/10)

Day 77 Mon 4th April 2011: Went back to bed at 12am, I was so tired and just fucked off I need to get away from everyone and everything. Didn’t sleep at all, just rested for an hour or so and¬†then got back up again.

Still feel tired and fucked off, more than I have for a while. I find it funny (I don’t actually, I find it annoying), I was planning to do my full¬†exercises again today, and I get this wave of demotivation! A feeling of lethargy, misanthropy and a feeling of¬†¬†Nihilism coupled with sadness and Nihilism. I’m sick of this mindset, OCD or whatever it is, it’s sending me¬†mental!¬†

OK, just read¬†that back, that’s enough of that! (2/10) (8/10)

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Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Ten On Prednisolone

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on March 29, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four One 5mg Tablet(s) daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks. Untill I see the specialists in April 2011.

Day¬†64 Tue 22nd March 2011:¬†¬†Woke up at 8:50am after going to sleep at 4:00am. Back still sore and I feel shitty, I don’t want to do anything but sleep or stare in to space. It’s moods like this that¬†worry me for¬†when I start studying! I just wont be able to take anything in fully because it.

Went to sleep for a few hours because I felt tired and pissed off. Back getting better though) (2/10) (6/10)

Day 65 Wed 23rd March 2011: Went to the toilet twice, it’s all normal. Back is very much better, will start doing the back strengthening tomorrow. Mood still low-ish, but better than yesterday. (2/10) (5/10)

Day 66 Thu 24th March 2011: Didn’t sleep well last night, I lost count of how many times I woke up. I went to bed early but wound myself up when the¬†OCD/T started. It’s going to be one of those days where I don’t want to be around anyone.

Everything else is normal. (2/10) (7/10)

Day 67 Fri 25th March 2011: Low mood again since I woke up. Spent most the day in my room reading.

UC still at bay and everything is normal. I say normal, it isn’t quite 100%, I still have the tiredness you get with UC and the occasional cramp and pain. (2/10) (7/10)

Day 68 Sat 26th March 2011: UC still at bay, toilet visit fine.

I’ve been doing some exercises for my back and warming up the rest of my body for when I start proper exercise. You know you’re fat and out-of-shape when you have to do¬†warm-up exercises for your warm-up exercises, a week in advance!

Mood still low. (2/10) (8/10)

Day 69 Sun 27th March 2011: Despite the fact I went to bed early, 11:30pm, and woke up at 9am, I still feel tired! I think the tiredness is more the result of low-mood than UC. Still feel low.

Toilet visit was normal! Prednisolone do work for me! Which is a good thing, so good to have normal toilet visits! (2/10) (7/10)

Day 70 Mon 28th March 2011: Woke up late after going to bed late, I’m not 100% sure but I think my tiredness is mostly due to low-mood.

Toilet visit was fine!

Mood still low.

The green readings will remain 2/10 untill I can be sure the UC is not causing the tiredness. (2/10) (6/10)

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Ulcerative Colitis Diary: Week Nine On Prednisolone

Posted by DeadAnarchistPhil on March 22, 2011

Green = How well I feel 1 being the best and 10 being the worse.

Blue = Depression. Again, on a scale as above.

Treatment for: Ulcerative Colitis.

Medication, Direction and Course as follows:

Prednisolone : Take four 5mg Tablets daily for four weeks [Now six weeks], then cut down by one tablet a week each week over the next four [Now three] weeks.

Day 57 Tue 15th March 2011: Woke up at 11am, not been to the toilet yet and no twinges from the beef I ate yesterday. But still, I’m not going to eat any of the foods that may cause a¬† flare-up untill I’m fully off the Prednisolone.

Went to the toilet, normal! Down to one tab a day from today, wish I remembered that this morning when I took two! Oh well. (2/10) (6/10)

Day 58 Wed 16th March 2011: Got up late (10:30am), didn’t sleep well. Went to the toilet and it’s still normal. No cramps or pains. Did some cleaning and work in the Bathroom, felt OK, besides the fumes from the bleach and the stretching!

Went to bed at 2am, couldn’t sleep or get comfortable. Got up and did some writing then went back to bed at 5am. (2/10) (5/10)

Day 59 Thu 17th March 2011: Got up late, about 12:10pm, I didn’t sleep well again! I don’t think the bleach fumes helped, it’s given me a bad chest! I’ll buy a mask for when I start painting! (2/10) (5/10)

Day 60 Fri 18th March 2011: Didn’t go to the toilet yesterday, so I’ll go some time today. So far, no bloating or cramps.

Went to the toilet, it was normal. It’s so good to feel well again, I mean, I’m not perfect but I feel a lot better. I still feel tired¬†in the day like I used to, but it’s better. Dare I say it… I feel ‘Normal’!¬†(2/10) (4/10)

Day 61 Sat 19th March 2011: Woke up late, about 11:15am, with a bad back! It must’ve been the cleaning and stretching to get the old paint off the ceiling in the toilet on Wed! I still have it now at 5:20pm.

Went to the toilet, it was normal. But I was tired before that, I fell asleep for an hour and half. Though the UC is sort of at bay, I still have the tiredness that comes with it. (2/10) (4/10)

Day 62 Sun 20th March 2011: My back is a little bit better this morning, at least I’m not walking around like an old man!

Went to the toilet, ’twas normal!

I’m feeling a little drop in mood today.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I went to bed early, and my back suddenly got extremely¬†worse when I got up again to get comfortable! It was as painful as 2009 when I last had it¬†this bad! Because of this I stayed up really late and my sleeping pattern is well and truly out of the window! Feeling pretty shitty right now. The pain killers (Co-dydramol)¬†don’t even work!¬†(2/10) (5/10)

Day 63 Mon 21st March 2011: Woke up at 12:15pm! I wasn’t up long before I had one of my downturns in mood. When I get them I just don’t want to be seen by,¬†spoken to, looked at¬† or be near¬†anyone. I also don’t feel like doing anything either. So I went to my room and fell asleep for a few hours, I felt a little better afterwards, though I’m still feeling it.

Went to the toilet, was normal! Just had a shower and preparing for a boring night in front of the TV or messing on about on the PC. (2/10) (6/10)

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