I’ve had a few debates about Music in my own home and on-line, and the usual reply I get for my criticism of nearly all music is:
“Dude! You’re tone deaf!” – Sam
“His vocal range is extensive!” – Sam
“They do not all sound the same!” – Sam
“Not everything has to be about Politics” – Sam
“Only so many sounds you can make!” – Sam
“Olly Murs is great! Fuck off!” – My Sister
“%$T”!* $%&*+£!!! ” – My other sister when I called her dancey chipmunk ‘music’ shite.
“This is real music! And he’s not a Pedophile!” – My Mam on Elvis and my opinion of him.
“Your Music’s shit, too!” – My Brother
“Ewww, no his music’s not crap and he’s not a wanker!” – My sister’s friends reaction to my opinion of 50 Cent.
“His vocal range is extensive!” – Daf
“Not everything is Black and white, Phil” – Daf
“Not everything has to be about Politics and have a message” – Daf
“Only so much you can do with musical instruments before it starts to sound the same” – Daf
“I don’t know, I quite like Las Ketchup!” – Daf
Ok, the last one was made up. But it’s fair to say I’m hostile to a lot of music and nearly all of the people I talk with accuse me of having a narrow, limited musical taste. This is not the case as I like many types of music, such as: Ska, Dance, Rock, Metal, Punk, Digital Hardcore, Electronic, some Blues, Some Pop, Some Soul and even some Classical.
Having said this, let me explain my position on Music past and present and my problem with it.
My first problem: Lack of originality and constant mimicry! The defence “There’s only so many sounds/vocal ranges/Styles.” is not acceptable. These people who sound (sing) the same do not sound the same by accident, they sound like that because they copy their heroes or the most popular singing/music style of the time. This is very prelivant in the U.S. Punk, Emo, Metal and Pop-Rock generas. They all sing and sound the fucking same! They do! You can’t escape it, it’s a damn fact! (No I’m not tone deaf, if I was I’d not like anything) It’s just a complete and utter lack of originality on their parts, it really is shameful, and they have the bollocks to stand on stage and sing and call themselves ‘different’.
You can say the same for nearly every genere, they all copy what came before and they never move forward, none of them are brave enough to make music that is different, that is not the same, they only make crap that’s safe, so they can live inside the success, fame, notoriety and glory of someone else and try to make money out of it at the same time, if they’re that way inclined. I don’t apply this label to the originators of a certain sound or style, just the talentless wankers that come afterwards copying them.
Second Problem: Image over Music! What a load of shite! Seriously, because you walk around all dressed in black, with make-up, a huge emo quiff, chains, piercings, Poncey expensive haircuts, a telephone in your hair (ppppp-po-ker faaace) etc etc etc… doesn’t make you different. You look like every other cunt who dresses like that and it doesn’t make you ‘different’ or ‘alternative’ and it doesn’t make your music or scene any fucking better than the other side, you’re all a bunch of poser cunts with zero originality between you all! Also, it is NOT art! The same way Tracey Emin’s pissed in bed and manky tampon isn’t! They’re clothes, and the bits that aren’t clothes, are just bits and bobs you like to use to make you look different, well, you aint, you look the same as the other cunts who wear that crap. But if it makes you feel better thinking you’re all that and your music and scene is too, then please, go for it. But please, don’t tell me “It’s a way of life!”, it’s not a way of life, you’re just a cunt!
Lyrics and Meaning: Of course, lyrics don’t have to mean anything, if you write a song that doesn’t mean anything in particular, then you’re just like thousands of others, well done. People will find meaning in what they want, so I don’t really care. It starts to annoy me when people go over the same ground or try to say something cleaver and political, but in a very cryptic way, so they can get away with not having to defend their views. Grow some ballls! Oh, is the record company scared you said the ‘F’ word and you insulted someone you shouldn’t have? Awwww! Fuck you, you spineless twats!
Another thing, record companies dictating what goes and what doesn’t, and many Musicians accept this, way to take a stand and put money above your Music and freedom of speech. You’re an inspiration to us all.
Hedonism: *Boomp, Boomp, Boomp Boomp!* If that night club collapses on you, am tellin ya, you wont be missed!
Love Songs: Types are as follows: ‘I miss ya babe’, ‘I love ya babe’, ‘I want you boy/girl’, You cheated on me boy/girl’, ‘Ya jilted me boy/girl’, ‘Let’s party boy/girl’, ‘I’m depressed boy/girl’, ‘You don’t know I exist boy/girl’, You’re hot and sexy boy/girl’, ‘I don’t love you anymore boy/girl’. JUST FUCK OFF!
Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll!: Please! You’re a fucking clesha! Dress like a cunt, act like a cunt, take drugs like a cunt and fuck like a cunt! You think you’re doing anything different? No you aint, though you may catch AIDS/HIV, unlike some of your idols who just died of being hedonistic wankers.
Hip-Hop and Rap: Unmitigated crap! (most of it) The sound isn’t always bad, but the lryics and culture behind it are hollow, sexist, materialistic, ostentatious, Shallow and ingeneral… complete bollocks! Fuck off fiddy!
I’ve annoyed myself with this post now, I pretty much dislike a hell of a lot of music, mostly because it’s generic and been done before. So before anyone asks what I like, I like a few things, the original pieces that were created by musicians with some spine and bollocks to try something different instead of sticking to the tried and tested formula. So I don’t listen to a lot of new Music anymore, just old stuff and one or two modern bands that are at least half original.
UPDATE: MY friend Sam has said my quoting of him callimg me tone deaf isn’t fair without you hearing the evidence yourself. Bear in mind these are vocals we’re listiening to. So here’s the two vocalists that I think sound the same: