Misleading Female Propaganda! Am I Right, Men?

I came across this list on my ISP’s home page. They have a deal going with a popular on-line dating site, so occasionally these ads will pop up and I read them for a laugh. This time it took the biscuit. My answers are in green! 

 

12 Things women wish men knew about them

1. We’re not money motivated
We really don’t care if you’re minted or work down the local chippy. What matters to us is that you’re a decent guy who treats us well and who has the drive and ambition to make something of himself.

Rubbish! While this may be true for some women, a lot of the women I know don’t want anything to do with a man if he hasn’t got some dosh in his pocket or can’t provide for her.

2. We hate it when you don’t put the toilet seat down
You probably think we’re making too much of it, but if the seats not down when we want to use the bathroom at night, things can get pretty ugly. Take note.

Is this really a problem? I’ve never heard a woman moan about the seat being up, but have moaned about it being down, because that’s when it get’s full of piss from lazy men!

3. We don’t fancy our male friends
Okay so some of our best mates happen to be chaps, but you really haven’t got anything to worry about. If we fancied them we would have dated them years ago. It’s platonic so deal with it.

Yeh, but it’s all different when men have female friends, it can’t be platonic then, because men only think about one thing… apparently!

4. We hate being lied to
Even seemingly harmless deception will arouse our suspicions. We’d always prefer to hear the truth than be told a lie even a white one. And for the record being cheated on is way worse than being dumped.

Load of crap! Women LOVE to be lied to! Female:  “Does my bum look big in this?” Male: *Yeh, it does, but best say it doesn’t or she’ll bollock me and we’ll never get to the party* “No, looks fine, babe!” Not only do they lie to themselves they self-delude too! They know their arse looks big, but she and her girl friends delude themselves in to thinking otherwise. Is the man the only one who knows it does looks huge?

5. We can tell when you’re checking out other women
You may think you’re being super subtle but we can always tell when you’re admiring another female. And guess what, we’re fine with it. Just as long as you don’t act on your impulse.

Yeh, some are alright with it others get super jealous and cause a scene, followed by a night of sobbing and saying: “Am I not good enough for him? All men are pigs!” *all her friends agree*

6. Kissing on the first date is fine
If the date has gone well, don’t feel you have to wait three days to call. Act on your impulse. We’re more than capable of letting you know if it’s not okay.

I never knew this! How are we supposed to know! We cant read minds.Why don’t you let us know before we make an arse of ourselves?

 

7. We like a bit of chivalry
Don’t be afraid to hold open a door for us or pull our chair out for us at dinner.  Of course we’re capable of doing it ourselves, but it’s possible to appreciate a bit of good old fashioned chivalry without encroaching on our feminist sensibilities.

 

Is that so?

8. We don’t expect you to pay for everything
If you’ve asked us out ,it’s customary to pay for the first date, but we’re more than happy to split the bill after that. No woman wants to bankrupt her man and most of us like to assert our independence from time to time too.

LOL!!!!!!!! Some do, some don’t. Some women like to be independent and pay their own way, others are more than happy to let him pay.

9. We hate it when you say you’ll call and then don’t
Don’t treat us like babies. If you’re no intention of seeing us again, then tell us to our face. Saying you’ll call and then not is just mean. And unless you’ve got a very good excuse you won’t get a second chance.

Yeh, but if we call up too quickly you think we’re “Too keen.” and “Desperate”, which puts the ladies off.

10.  You look extra sexy when you’re holding a baby
Sorry, it’s in our genes. A bloke with a baby scores serious points with us.

I’ve heard this before and seen it happen for myself!

11. We prefer brains over braun
You don’t have to have a gym honed bod for us to like you. We’re interested in what’s going on up top. But don’t use that as an excuse. Ideally we like a bit of both.

Nah, bollocks. Most women love a sexy, toned man, if he had brains too then that would be a bonus. However, a lot of women wouldn’t go out with an intelligent man with not so good looks.

12.  We need to hear how you feel about us often
It’s our Achilles heel. We not only need to hear you say how you feel about us on a regular basis, but you need to show it too. Romantic gestures and little surprises mean a lot.

Again, different women different choices. But again, I’ve heard women say a man was: “Too nice!”

Obviously these were generalisations on behalf of all women, but it made me laugh and I had to share my thoughts on it. What’s you thoughts? Ladies, are you really that bothered about the seat being up? Is the list above what you think of men? Men, is my list what you think of ladies?

The Above Picture Is Not Mine